Monday, September 25, 2006

"Happiness is self-defined.
Everyone can be happy,
if only they give themselves the chance."


-Faith-

---------------

Read this in the papers somewhere, some time ago. Can't remember when, but she thought it was rather interesting.

Ways to chase your ex-girlfriend (Again):

1) Treat her as a whole different person. As a girl you only know for the first time.
2) Give her things she likes, make everything extra special for her, pamper her like a new born girlfriend.
3) You'll have to try extra hard this time. Remember, you've broken up once. Make everything nicer, sweeter, more memorable.
4) Most importantly, do things step-by-step. Don't rush into things. Also, NEVER take things for granted again.

That's about all. The article was short and simple.

Good luck to all you guys out there then!

Never Give Up!

---------------

Here are 2 true stories of Singaporeans who sped up the ladders to success!!

Story 1

There was this women, working at citybank. She was the correspondent between the Singapore Branch and the UK Branch. Due to the nature of her work, her work only starts after 11 pm. While everyone is asleep, she would be kept on her feet all the time, making calls to UK that could last as long as 2 hours!

One day, she was sent to the UK for a conference. It was usual for banks to meet about mergers and such, hence it was no surprise there. Present at the meeting was, Standard Chartered. You would never believe what happened there. Standard Chartered offered her a quote of her salary and benefits if she were to work with them! Goodness! And so, she was poached by Standard Chartered, and left CitiBank. Amazing, isn't it? I used to think this only happened in drama serials!

However, after a year, she could not take the stress and resigned from Standard Chartered. But, fret not, she is now doing REALLY REALLY well. She is now the HR manager of Tiger Beers or something, and is earning like, S$20 000? Whoah!

And to make everything more astonishing is the fact that she graduated with a chemical engineering certificate!

Story 2

Here's another success story of another women. She was working in the commercial department of Standard Chartered in Singapore. Thankfully for her, she had a nice boss. Her boss sent her to China where she became the GM there. You will never be able to digest the benefits she got there. All 3 of her children were sent to an international school there, with expenses fully paid! With a chauffer, a maid and all. It's simply unbelievable! Sadly, her husband had to stay in Singapore. The company wasn't prepared to pay for her husband too! That's just so sad for her husband!! Away from his wife and children. So lonely!!

4 years later, her boss sent her away again. This time, to bangkok, but her position is now higher than ever! She was made the CEO of the Bangkok branch of Standard Chartered! WOW!

Moral of the stories? Work for Standard Chartered!

---------------

"Clara, you've got a letter," her dad said as he threw a letter at her.

Keeping her eyes on the television, she gave a vague nod of her head and caught the letter in between her hands. Concentrating more on what was on T.V. rather than on the letter at hand, she absent-mindedly tore open the letter. Breifly, she looked down at the letter and gasped in shock.

"Dear Ms Lin Yihong Clara

We would like to invite you to our....."

As she read the letter, her eyes grew larger and larger. She cocked one eyebrow and stared at the letter in disbelief.

"So are you going to study in spain then?" her dad asked cheekily.

"Daddy!" she cried out indignantly in a what-do-you-think kind of way.

Her dad's eyes twinkled as he chuckled to himself.

What a joke! she thought as she threw the letter on the table. Still, it was nice to get an invitation from a University. She could not help but smile.

---------------

She glanced up at the MRT tablet and waited for the time to display. It was 10:45 am. As usual, she was early. She shuffled towards a corner of the MRT station and took out a book to read. It was going to be a long wait. Knowing her friends, they would most probably be late.

"Clara!"

She glanced up and was totally relieved to see her friend approaching her. Finally! It seemed ages since she started standing there, leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for her friends to arrive. Her legs were starting to get stiff from standing in the same position for a long period of time.

"Hello!" she greeted her friend, smiling brightly.

Soon, another of her friend arrived. Apparently, her friend waited at the wrong station. Funny, it was that exact friend who organised the outing! Not surprisingly, one will be late and they went on to the shopping centre that stood just a stone's throw away.

Did she ever mention she hates shopping? Shopping is a dreadful thing. Especially if you do not have enough cash on you. Yup, shopping is an expensive hobby that wears your leg out and overworks your brain. Window shopping is even worse. What joy can one find in browsing through clothes that you will NEVER purchase, items which you can only coodle at, jewellery which you can only see, but not touch?

30 minutes later, her friend finally arrived and they then proceeded on to SERIOUS shopping. Buying presents is always a tough thing. Not to mention tedious.

Being the only TJcian among 3 other Victorians, you can just imagine the stress! The first thing they mentioned were S papers. Having none to boast about, she could only keep quiet. This went on for most of the shopping trip as they lamented about how tough their papers were and all she could do was to smile and comfort them, asking them to relax, not to think too much etc. etc. Okay, basically, she was pretty much useless there.

During lunch, prelims became the subject of the day again. Naturally, they were also discussing about future Universities. Really stressful topics, if you ask her. One of her friend was going to Cornell University in New York! Geez, she'll probably even have trouble entering a local University! Enough said, you get the picture. With friends so intelligent, it's tough not to feel jealous.

At the end of the day, they parted because the other 3 had tuition. With a stabbing headache, she was not really sad as she waved goodbye to them. Thank goodness for their tuition!

---------------

On to some serious topics now. Some fruits for thought. Yes, FRUITS.

Have you ever wondered what actually prompt people to commit suicide?

Have you ever wondered why do people even consider suicidal as a solution?

Have you ever wondered how people can torture themselves so, by causing deliberate harm to their body?

The answer is pretty simple, actually.

Firstly, when someone is sad - utterly depressed - sadness will only last so long. It cannot go on indefinitely. There will come a point in time when you don't and won't feel anything. Everything in life just brushes past you as you peer out of your empty shell, not really caring what happens. At this point, the meaning of life leaves much question marks in your mind. You start to wonder, what am I doing here? There's nothing much left to do here, isn't it? On and on questions will pour into your brain, drilling into your skull that your purpose in life has come to an end. This, my friend, is the start of the journey on the dark path. The fact that life has not been fair to you does not help matters either. It only leads you further down into the deep abyss of the valley, into the deepest tunnel of the underground world, until the way out is shrouded in darkness.

At this stage, there are only a few choices left.

1) Rebel. Act as though the whole world owes you something. Throw in the 'heck care' attittude. Be angry at everyone. At least then, you'll feel anger. You are no longer the empty shell. Be resentful at everything you do. After all, you would reason with yourself, life has not been good to you, why should you be good to it?

2) Withdraw. You start to shrink away from reality, detaching yourself from the world into your own fantasy world where everything is just strawberifically sweet. You end up living in your own made-up dimension, trapped within the mental walls of your mind. You seek comfort in not knowing, in deceiving yourself.

3) Action. You realised that your life is spiralling out of control. You need some re-assertment. You need some signs that you are in control. That you still have the power to re-direct the way your life is going. And so, you start harming yourself. You start cutting yourself, starving yourself, being reckless in everything you do. Taking unnecessary risks all the time. As you feel pain, you feel good. You realised your body is still there for you to control. Even when everything is not going right, you still have the ability to control something.

4) Escape. The last and most drastic course of action. After having done all of the above, you realise that it was of no use. You still feel like an empty shell. Life is being steered further and further away from the desired path. You realise you are so very alone in this world as you bear the heavy weight of your burden. Uncertainties plague your mind as you gaze at the world through tainted glasses. Nothing looks as nice as before. Nothing tastes as sweet as before. No experience is as refreshing as before. Hence, you decide. You make the last choice one can ever make. You decide to end this torturous journey once and for all.

So, the last and final path was chosen. What happens next? Would one immediately plunge into a death defying act?

No. Careful thoughts are sown on the process. You start drawing up a cost-benefit analysis on every single method available.

1) Jumping. The most common method. Atlas, it leaves you all bloody and ugly. Worse, you might not even reach your final destination. All your plans would then go down the drain, and to add to your misery, you will be charged in court for attempting suicide. Plus, there is the high possibility of becoming an invalid for the rest of your life.

2) Drinking Detergent? Seen a lot in television. The process is slow and dreadfully painful. Definitely not a nice way to end it all. You'll have to make sure you have the ability to drink up everything in the bottle. EVERYTHING. Otherwise, all your efforts would be for nought AND you would be charged for attempting suicide. At least this time, you will not be paralyse or anything.

3) Drowning. Easier said than done. You know those shows where people actually drown in their bath tub? It does not really work that way. Once again, it takes much determination and self-discipline if one were to die this way. Furthernore, even if you were to pass out in the bath tub, you might just float and voila! You are breathing again. Drowning in the sea, you ask. Then you think, what if your body gets washed out? Eaten by sharks, perhaps?

4) Cutting. This takes so much courage. Firstly, you will have to cut yourself more than once. It's is highly doubtful that you will find the main vein on your first attempt. Secondly, even if you did manage to sought out the main vein in your first attempt, you'll have to cut deep enough. Real deep. Thirdly, after you've cut deep enough you have to look as your blood gushes out and goodness! Imagine the pain. The excruciating pain. Definitely a tough method, but still works all the same.

5) Accident? The most stupid method ever conceived. Have you ever considered that innocent people may be inflicted in your 'oh-so-noble' plans to freedom? Even if you really drive into a tree without hitting anyone, what makes you think you would be freed? Picture this, with safety as top priority on every car manufacturer's mind, for all you know, as you ramp head-first into the tree, an air bag will explode into your face. What? As a pedestrain you say? That's even worse. Consider the emotional harm you are going to impose on people who witness the accident. Furthermore, what of the person whom you targeted to knock you? Put him in jail? For what? Being part of your ridiculous plans?

6) Carbon Monoxide. Ah, the best plan ever. Harmless, painless, and messy-less. NO blood spilled. NO one blamed. You actually die in peace. Perfect.

You feel satisfied as you pinpoint the way you are going to acheive your goal, but then you start to consider. You start to ponder. Is there really nothing left for you to live? Would you really bear to break the hearts of the people around you? Images of your family members flash across your mind. You start to re-think your plans.

As with most stories, this one has a happy ending too. You shake yourself out of your stupor and decides to abandon everything for the sake of your love ones. But you are still stuck somewhere underground, somewhere encaged and trapped. Nevertheless, you gritt your teeth and bite your lips as you thread onto the path that may, or may not lead to freedom. The future is unknown, but one thing is definite. You have saved unnecessary pain for your love ones. Be proud of yourself.

Don't give in to darkness. There will always be a way out.
Have faith in yourself, have hope in life.

"When you're down and troubled
And you need some loving care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear my knocking on your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there

Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend"

-You've got a friend-

Then again, if life were to end now, the beautiful image of life will not be marred by the sorrows of harsh reality, right?

Goodbye, my friend. Have a nice day!

(After-thought: Everyone is so busy, busy, BUSY!! Going to have to rot at home! ARGH!)

---------------

"You shall be my best kept secret, and my BIGGEST mistake."

-Faith-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

"Greet each day with a smile,
The day would then smile back at you."


-Faith-

---------------

She alighted from the bus and walked towards the library. There was plenty of time. There were people heading for the market, people heading for school, and of course, people heading for work. It was still early. The sky was clear and the day seemed young and youthful. This was the first time she arrived so early. If not for the fact that she promised to save seats for a FEW of her friends, she would not have bothered to arrive before the library opens.

Here's the scenario. Everyday, you would have to fight with other students in order to secure a seat in the library. It was all a matter of time. Once, her friend arrived only 3 minutes after the library opened, but it was too late. All the seats were already taken up. 3 minutes! That is all it takes for all the seats to be occupied. This is crazy, I tell you. 15 minutes before the library opens, a crowd gathers at the entrance, just waiting for the doors to open. Not surprisingly, the door only opens at exactly 10, on the dot.

As she stood in front of the library, far away from the crowd, she could not help but feel a little foolish. Just yesterday, she would never have imagined herself to be one of the few waiting to rush into the library. If only she wasn't nice. Then again, her only talent was being nice. Sadly, she has no other talents to speak of.

At exactly 10, the doors opened and everyone scampered into the library.

"Morning!"

"Morning!"

"Morning!"

The librarians stood at the door, greeting everyone that entered. It felt weird. She quickly walked pass them, muttering 'morning' under her breath and hastily made her way upstairs. It would be disastrous if she could not find seats for her and her friends. All her efforts would then be for nothing. By the time she made her way up, most of the seats were already taken up. She quickly scanned the window seats. There were none left. Oh well. She turned and made her way to the reference room.

She avoided the reference room as much as she could. The reference room was usually freezing. Without a sweater or a jacket on, one would literally freeze in there, but that day was different. She had no choice. As she entered the room, she could feel the silence stifling her. Everyone turned and stared at her. This was not the first time this has happened. Whenever she entered the room to look for her friend, every single pair of eyes would be on her. It is probably due to the fact that there is only one entrance surrounded by all the tables.

She spotted an empty table and quickly made her way there, threading as quietly as possible. As she sat, she placed a file and 2 other books on the other seats of the table. She could not help but feel her face reddening. Reserving seats were, naturally, strictly not allowed, but everyone does that. Still, it was not a good thing to do. They better get here soon, she thought to herself as she took out her pencil box.

And so it begins. Another day of mugging. In the Artic.

---------------

"Hey!"

She jumped. She turned and found her friend standing behind her.

"Oh, hi! I didn't see you earlier. Can you find a seat?" she asked. Looking at the bag slung over her friend's shoulders, the answer was most probably a no.

"No. The whole place is packed. I can't find a seat anywhere!"

"There's a lot of space here. If you can find a chair, you can seat next to me," she said, smiling. Of course, it was tough finding a chair under such circumstances. Everyone would definitely have grabbed all the chairs. There were even people studying on the floor!

"No, it's okie. I think I'll try the reference room again. See ya," her friend said and waved before disappearing behind one of the bookshelves behind her.

She turned back to her work and proceeded to tackle another question. She was totally engrossed in her work when she felt a pat on her shoulders. She jumped again. She turned and found herself in the same situation as that of a few minutes ago. This time though, her friend did not have her bag with her. Ah, she found a seat, she thought to herself.

"Clara, I've forgotten to bring my foolscap paper. Could you lend me some?"

"Sure. How many do you need? 5 Pieces?"

"Yeah, that should do."

"Here you go, just come and ask if you need more. I've got loads," she said as she tore a few sheets of paper from the stack of foolscap. "Study hard!" she said and waved at her friend before turning back to her work again.

On and on the notes went. It seemed unrelenting. No matter how many times she read it, it still refuses to enter her thick skull. It was hopeless. She sighed as she turned the page. Another page of printed words greeted her. She sat upright and resolved to conquer this trying period. For a moment there, her morale was boosted an inch.

"Hey, Clara!"

She jumped again. This time, her jump was decorated with a slight outcry of shock. Her friend started giggling behind.

"Would you please stop that?!"

"It's not me. You just scare too easily. Anyway, I wanted to ask you some questions," her friend said, with a silly grin plastered on her face as she placed a stack worksheets in front of her. She could not believe her luck. Just when she was bored to tears by her notes, her friend comes along bringing something to wake her up. She smiled and before long, started explaining everything as softly as possible.

---------------

"Hey, it's 6:30 already. What time are you going for dinner?" her friend asked from across.

Weirdly, this uncle came and sat between them when another of her friend left earlier. The uncle was previously seated on her left, but shifted to her right when her friend left. Strange, huh! As a result, they had to communicate with the uncle listening in to everything they had to say. Here is another queer thing about the uncle. The uncle goes to the library everyday. Yes, EVERYDAY. Even on a Sunday. Who can fail to notice this uncle?

"I'm not eating out for dinner. Sorry! I'm going home for dinner," she replied, apologetically.

"Oh it's okay then, I was just asking," her friend said with a smile. Her friend was just so sweet. Sweet and nice.

"小朋友, 你们是不是要吃饭了?" The uncle suddenly turned towards her and asked.

She looked at him apprehensively. What was she to reply to such a sudden question?

"Er..er.."

"你们不用怕我. 我现在正在学中医. 你看!" With that, he proceeded to show her all his notes on acupoints and the anatomy of the human body. She could not help but look on with a slight hint of interest.

"你们看起来很累. 我在附近有开一间诊所. 不如你跟我一起, 我可以帮你减轻压力."

Oh no, she thought to herself. What does this uncle wants? Does she look like a 3-year-old kid? Her eyes flicked to the side for a moment and she noticed her friend staring at her from behind him. Apparently, her friend was shocked at his bold question. Her friend fervently shook her head, warning her against saying yes.

"Er..er.."

"或者我请你们吃饭. 我知道附近有一间饭店, 很便宜的."

Is this uncle really trying to be friendly? Or is there an ulterior motive behind it?

"Hey, Clara, I'm leaving for dinner. Do you wanna leave with me?" her friend suddenly piped up from behind the uncle, putting on this fake smile, but anyone could see it in her friend's eyes that her friend was hoping she would say yes.

Thank goodness!

"Oh yeah, I need to be going to," she replied, totally grateful for her friend's help.

"对不起, uncle. 我们要走了. 改天吧!"

She quickly started packing her bag, trying to avoid eye contact with the uncle. She could feel the uncle's gaze on her back as she packed.Oh gosh! If she unintentionally hurt the uncle's feeling, she was sorry! Frankly speaking, the uncle spooked her.

As she left, she could not help but glance back at the uncle. The uncle was still looking at her. She quickly snapped her head back up front. Freaky! This time, she will not let guilt get the better of her.

--------------

"对不起, 这里有没有人坐?"

That voice. That smell. It was all so familiar. Oh no. Not him! She turned to her left and sure enough, there was that uncle again.

"Er.."

"这里有没有人坐?"

"有" she said, feeling a little uncomfortable. It was not exactly the truth. There will be someone sitting there. Just that, that someone has not arrived yet. Technically, there was no one sitting there, yet. She has had to reject 5 other people asking for that seat. She knew that it was not right to hog seats, but she promised her friend. A promise is a promise.

Surprisingly, the uncle started pulling the seat out and placed his bag on the table. She stared at him.

"Uncle, 这里有人坐了"

"什么?"

"这里有人坐了" she said, louder this time. Her voice quivered a little as she spoke. She was not used to confrontations like this.

"Orh" was the uncle's reply before he made himself comfortable.

Her heart started racing. The few people that were sitting around her were starting to stare. Oh dear, oh dear, she thought to herself frantically.

"Uncle, 这里有人坐了" she tried again. This time, she said it much slower, pronouncing each syllabus clearly.

"哦? 有人坐了?"

She nodded, not knowing what else to say.

Thankfully, the uncle then stood up and pushed the chair back in before leaving. She breathed a sigh of relief and accidentally looked at some of the people sitting around her. They quickly turned their attention back to their work and pretended nothing had happened. Feeling slightly embarrassed, she kept her gaze fixed at the book in front of her.

---------------

Outside, the clock chimed once. It was 1 in the morning. It was time to sleep. She closed her notes and started transferring all her files and books from the bed onto the floor. Sometimes, she thought it would be better if she just slept on the floor. This would save the hassle of moving the notes around all the time, which could, in the process, mess up the sequence of the notes.

As she lay on her bed and looked at the clock hanging overhead, she tried to smile. It was, after all, another day gone. She survived the day. The thought of waking up tomorrow again was tormenting, but she quickly pushed the thought away.

Why do people have to sleep? She sighed. It was no use. There were too many distracting thoughts. Too many worrisome thoughts that troubled her sleep. Throughout the entire day, she spent more than half her energy trying to filter out these thoughts, but to no avail. It was a futile attempt. Her concentration wanes easily, and the moment she lets her guard down, the thoughts immediately grab the opportunity to race through her brain on a bullet train.

She closed her eyes. It was really time to sleep. Focusing all her thoughts on the rattling of the fan, she tried to blank her mind. Once in a while, thoughts strayed into her mind, but that was inevitable. In the daytime, she had her studies to distract her, but at night, she was at their mercy. They are ruthless. Within their clutches, it was hard to escape. They turn you round and round the merry-go-round, making you dizzy, making you sick, but you know there is little you can do to stop them. They are, after all, a part of your humanity.

Finally, sub-consciousness started claiming her. Peace at last?

She was rudely awaken by a huge vibration at her side. Sleepily, she grabbed the phone and slid it upwards. She peeked from her half-opened eyes and read the message. Funny, she still kept her phone by her bedside. For what reasons, she know not, but now perhaps, it was because she knew her friend, being the night owl that her friend always is, would develop a habit of messaging, or at times even call, her in the wee hours of the morning. (FYI: The phone no longer rests on the bed. The exams are over. Actually, it's dead half the time. There isn't any point in keeping it alive, is there?)

Still feeling groggy, she dragged herself out of bed and searched through the pile of mess on the floor for her Chemistry Ten Year Series. Just where is it? She thought irritably to herself as she rummaged through all her notes, making everything disoriented at the same time. Ah, there it is, she thought to herself and reached out for it. It laid beneath a stack of mathematics worksheet.

Page 45 Question 12B. She quickly flipped to the page and scanned through the question. Okay, this is do-able, she said, more to herself than to anyone else. She reached out for her pencil when she realised it was not there. She groaned. It must be beneath some worksheets over at that pile. She searched the table for another pencil, and managed to find one near the phone.

Within minutes, she completed the question. She picked up her phone again and messaged the answer across. Satisfied, she climbed onto bed and the process of falling asleep started all over again. By then, it was already 2:30 in the morning. Once again, she cannot help but ask, why do people need to sleep?

BRRRRRR! BRRRRRRRRR!

She woke up in shock and was confused for a moment, when she realised that her phone was vibrating. Again. This time, however, someone was calling her. She sneaked a quick glance at the clock before sliding her phone up. It was 3 in the morning.

"Hello?"

"Hi, xXx here, am I disturbing you?"

"Nope"

"I ask you arh, have you done integration?"

"Yeah"

"Can you get the answer for question 2?"

"Give me a minute, I need to look for the worksheet."

Not the first time this morning, she started looking through the stack of notes on the floor. It was starting to look messier and messier. She randomly grabbed a worksheet, hoping that it would be right one, but as usual, it was not. 'No, that is differentiation. If differentiation is near, integration must be near too,' she thought to herself. "Yes! Found it!" This time, she said it aloud for the benefit of her friend.

"Let's see. Question 2? Yeah, I got the answer."

"How did you get?"

"First..."

She slid the phone back down and placed it by her bed. It was now way past 3 in the morning. Her friend will need her sleep too. For now, there will not be any more interruptions. She flopped down onto the pillow and smiled. She was, at the very least, still useful to her friends. For a while. Again. Her smile disappeared at that thought. A while. Useful for only a while.

---------------

She laughed and giggled as she laid there, on the bed. Her brother was sitting on the bed too, above her. Her brother made a silly gesture and she erupted into laughter again. Once in a while, she would do something equally silly and he would laugh.

They were just fooling around after a day of studying. Somehow, this has sort of become a routine. They would end up in either room, and just start fooling around. Squeals of laughter would then drift out from the room. They would usually make a huge racket that was loud enough to wake the whole house. It was a good thing they usually played BEFORE everyone went to sleep.

"Children, time to sleep!" boomed a voice from above.

She looked up, tears glistening in her eyes from all that laughing. On some occasion, they would ignore that and just continue, but they both had papers tomorrow. It was best to turn in early.

"Okay la, you've got to sleep early tonight. Tomorrow still got exams," she said to her brother amidst giggles and laughter. They were both panting from laughing and playing. Her brother got up and left the room, only to return a few minutes later.

"Do you have any books to read?"

"Just take any book you like from the shelf," she said, gesturing towards the book shelf. She was tidying the place up a little. Playing usually results in things being thrown into disarray.

Finally, her brother retreated from the room and peace and quiet was once again restored in the house. It's amazing how much fun they can have together. She remembers reading on another person's blog:

"..brothers r always like that. got gf, then forget sisters. i wasnt close to my da kor kor before he had his gf. and after my er kor kor got gf, he forgot abt me. thats so sad right.."

Wonder if the 'brothers' know about it. Do you think she should tell them? Oh well, everyone has to grow up one day. That, my friend, is the sad part.

--------------

She looked up from the notes she was reading and gazed at the sky. It was the dawn of her first paper. The sky was overcast and darkness descended upon earth like a blanket would over a bed. The ominous grey clouds hovered above the school, threatening to pour any moment. If she did not enter school now, she might be drenched in the examinations hall. Still, she had to wait for her friends. She sighed and turned her attention back to her notes. The sky would hold. The clouds were just a sign, signifying the start of a gruesome and dreadful week. (Not that the past few weeks were nice, but the following 2 weeks would be worse. Far worse than before.)

Seated in the examination hall, her pulse started racing. This is it, she thought. It was now or never. It was either make or break. There was no other way. Fortunately for her, she was seated right in front, with a good view of the clock. It would be disastrous if the clock was positioned a mile away. Then again, her class was so far behind that they were assigned a classroom instead of having to take their paper in the school hall, which was huge.

"It's now 8:00 and you have one and a half hour to complete the paper. You many begin," the invigilator announced.

Immediately, everyone quickly flipped the page over and read through the question. She stared. She quickly sped read all the questions on the page and hastily crossed out questions that were unlikely to be chosen. Funny, that actually leaves her with no questions that can be answered. She frowned and started erasing some of the crosses. This was going to be tough paper.

As she stepped out of the examination hall, the sun glared at her, stinging her eyes and melting her hands. Her fingers were literally blue from the cold. It was a ghastly sight. You would not want to look at it. Even her friends could not bear the sight of it. Goosebumps coated her hands and it looked as though it was suffering from a serious bout of rashes. Her friends were all eagerly chatting away, anxious to know if they deciphered the question correctly. It would be horrendous if the question was misunderstood. Once you fail this paper, you were a goner.

20 minutes later, she was back in the room facing yet another paper. This time, she was decked in her windbreaker, determined to do better.

"Alright. You may begin."

Papers could be heard being flipped over for a couple of seconds before silence settled in. She poured through the tedious and boring passage before plunging into the questions. There was no time to be wasted. In her last paper, she had only 10 minutes to complete 2 whole paragraphs! No way will she allow that to happen again. After each question, she glanced at the clock before heading for the next question. Thankfully, the paper went by without a hitch.

Everyone poured out of the examination hall, rubbing his or her hands together to obtain heat via friction. Some were quiet, while some were chattering away happily, pleased that they were able to do the paper.

"Are you going home?" her friend asked as they walked down the stairs towards the tuck shop.

"I can't. I have another paper, remember? Another essay paper. And tomorrow, 2 more papers! I think our combination has got the worse time-table ever," she lamented as they strolled into the tuck shop.

"Oh, you can do it! 加油! See you tomorrow then!" her friend said and waved before disappearing around the bend as she headed towards the bus-stop.

Two hours later, she was seated in the examination hall again. Though, this time she was seated in the school hall with the air conditioning system blasting away at her. This was at least a hundred times worse than the classroom. Even her windbreaker could not block out the thundering airwaves.

"We shall start in 10 minutes. Meanwhile, you can pray or something. It's always good to pray," the invigilator said, with a smile on her face.

The whole hall smiled back at her. How ironic is it?

"It's good to smile too," she continued on, still smiling.

Everyone fidgeted in his or her seat, anxious for the paper to start so that this whole thing would end as quickly as possible.

"Alright, you may begin. You have two and a half hours."

Everyone immediately turned their papers and scanned through the questions. She quickly read through the questions and nearly groaned out loud. The questions were as foreign as Russian to her. She sneaked a peak towards her right and found that her neighbour had started writing. Oh no, she thought. Better start soon! She quickly chose her questions and started scribbling her answer onto the foolscap papers provided. Her windbreaker impeded her writing movements and was really an annoyance. Finally, she was so irritated by it that she folded the sleeves up before she continued. No doubt, the cold was eating into her flesh more than ever, but at least she could write a little faster now. Not to mention, neater.

PLOP!

She turned to her left, only to find the guy with his head against the table as though resigned to his fate. His hands were still flying across the paper, but at a much slower rate. A look of hopelessness descended upon his face. She quickly turned back to her paper and tried to squeeze out points to write. No matter how illogical her points were, at least write something! Soon, she ran out of points to write - her brain juice squeezed dry. She sneaked another glance at the guy to her left and realised that he, too, had stopped writing. She turned back and searched her brain for other possible answers. There was still time, so it was better not to waste it. Ironically, previously she had no time, yet now she was wishing time would pass faster.

It was a torturous process to sit in the examination hall watching as time ticked by, with the paper staring back at you, yet you knew you could do nothing about it. Worse, you knew that it was all over. Nothing you do would help. And to top it all, you realised that all those studying did not do you any good. At all.

At the end of the day, she trudged towards the bus-stop, feeling utterly saddened by the paper. The prospect of the 2 papers tomorrow did not brighten her mood. And the day after next? Another paper, with 10 essay questions to be done.

---------------

The torrent rained onto earth, thrashing everything in its way as though determined to destroy everything in its path. She grabbed her umbrella tightly as she picked her way through the estate. It was no easy task. There were floods everywhere, threatening to soak her shoes and socks. Heaven just love making fun of her. As though life was not already miserable. A couple of black clouds were just the thing to spice up her life. How nice.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew. For a moment, she lost grip of her umbrella and was nearly sent flying backwards. Within seconds, she was soaked to the skin. Oh great, she thought. She was sure to freeze in the examination hall now. It was in the school hall too. How typical. Things always go wrong all at one go. Then again, things have all gone wrong since August. It was no surprise there.

SPLASH!

She looked down only to be greeted by a soaked shoe and a chill went up her spine. There was no way out now, she has had no choice but to step on the water. You have no idea. The puddle of water was ankle deep! She muttered something incoherent before walking on, fuming with anger. Before long, she arrived at the bus-stop, totally drenched.

45 minutes later, she was seated in the school hall, shivering away. She looked at the others and could not help but wonder if life was happy for them. She smiled at her friends and said the usual words of encouragement as they walked past. Right now, she had to concentrate on her paper. What has happened, has happened. There was nothing she could do about it. She picked up her pen, her hands shaking a little and started writing her name.

"You have 15 more minutes," announced the invigilator.

She looked up in shock. 15 more minutes?! She quickly flipped till the end of the paper and her nerves started to get the better of her. 15 minutes! In 15 minutes, she has to complete one structured question and 2 essay questions! Essay, I tell you. Oh no, oh no, she thought to herself frantically. Quickly, she tackled the essay question, but her mind was in whirl. It was an impossible feat. Who could complete 50 marks worth of questions in 15 minutes?! Her hands scribbled away, not knowing what they were writing. They were just writing for the sake of leaving an answer on the paper.

Oh heck! Who cares? She thought and jumped into the essay questions. Her mind could barely focus as her hand flew across the paper. Nothing she wrote made sense to her. Hopefully the teacher would think it made sense. Her eyebrow creased into a furrow as she struggled on, trying to keep her breathing steady.

"Alright. Pens down. No more writing. Crush any unused paper you have. Make sure you do not crush your answers..."

The invigilator's words were lost within her as she stared at her pathetic attempt of the essay question. She was doomed. Gone. Dead before you could say the word die. It was really all over now. Despair sank like a stone at the pit of her stomach as she looked at the question. She knew the answer! But there was just not enough time. All her efforts, disappearing down the drain, washed by the rain. She was totally demoralised.


---------------

The rest of the papers were too depressing to be penned down. In a nutshell, from day 1 of the papers, everything went down hill. Not that it started from the top of the hill, but i think you get the meaning. It went from bad to worse.

Nevertheless, I have to applaud you, whoever you are, for having read thus far. Bravo! It must have taken much patience and perseverance to read through all those ramblings, all those mundane stories of an ordinary teenage life. Knowing the few people who know about this blog, I highly doubt any would actually read till this part. So I guess it is fair to say that none, and most likely no one, is reading this right now, but just in case, I still have to congratulate you on this marvelous feat. Well done, my friend.

Now, a warning. The following is highly depressing and if you don't know her well enough, I would say it is definitely unwise for you to read on. I repeat, you are to venture on at your own risks. I am, not in any way, responsible for your emotional well-being if you were to plough on recklessly. Beware, for i have warned you.

---------------

What? You are still reading this? Are you sure?

Oh well, don't say I did not warn you.

Be prepared.

Wait, I guess you need a break. Here's a little something to watch:
Enjoy!

That's right. Nothing beats the love of your parents. And now to cut to the chase, we are onto the main course of the day.

---------------

Now, how should I begin?
It's tough to write what she has to say in a narrative tone, so i shall just quote directly from her.

"My examinations? Well, it was a disaster right from the start. And I do mean from the start. From the preparations and all," she said. At this point, she paused and seemed to be deep in thought.

"You see, I thought time had stopped. It literally did. I still remember. It was on the 18th of August. Ironic, isn't it? Just a week after my birthday. It just makes you wonder.." She fell silent again as though the memory was too horrible to be said out loud.

"I used to think that such a thing would not happen to me, you know? Never, in my wildest dream would I have thought that such terror would befall onto me. I could not concentrate on my studies at all. I kept wondering why? Why? WHY? I was tormented day and night by thoughts that seemed foolish but yet, reasonable. Of course, I never dared ask. What was the use? It's over, isn't it? Better for only one person to suffer, yeah? Still, I can't help but wonder why." At this, she fell silent again, as though still tossing that question thru and fro within her mind.

"Naturally, I thought up lots of reasons. I mean, how can you think for so long and not think up of anything? Only someone dense would be like that. Oh, there were loads of reasons, alright. Most of them pointed the blame at me. I felt so useless and worthless. Actually, I still feel useless and worthless, if not worse. Of course, the main reason would be the most cliché reason of all - that I’m not good enough," For some reason, she started laughing. I have no idea why.

"It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
My dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-bes
And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings
With the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
but I didn't mind"

-When there was me and you-

"Sorry, I just could not help but laugh. It just seemed funny now that I’ve said it out loud, you know. All these weeks, I played with the thought often enough, but I guess I was living in denial, but now come and think of it, it is most probably true. It's sad you know? I don't know why. Don't ask me." She paused again. I'm actually surprised she said so much to me. But wait, there's more.

"每一晚, 我都会在床上辗转难眠, 脑海里一直想东想西, 这种滋味是非常痛苦的. 你知道吗, 当你知道你的前途很渺茫的时候, 当你知道你突然间在一夜里失去了一切, 你就不知不觉会陷入悲哀之中. 不管你怎么挣扎, 也只不过是白费力气吧了! 你看看我.读了不知道几年的书, 到头来还不是功亏一篑? 如果这次又是考得一团糟, 我真的完蛋了. 不. 没有如果了. 我知道这次一定完蛋了." For some reasons, she started jabbering away in mandarin which came as a total shock, but who dares to interrupt her?

"真没想到我也会沦落到这个地步. 现在, 我仿佛过着得过且过的生活. 走一天, 看一天. 生活已经没有意义了. 我做什么事都弄巧反拙, 真是愚蠢, 真是笨透了! 再加上现在考试又考得不理想, 爸爸妈妈一定会很失望. 但是, 我对自己的失望更大一百倍, 一千倍. 我真是辜负了他们的期望. 真是对不起. 我不是故意的. 我也不知道为什么会这样. 我真的不知道." At this point, her voice reduced to a whisper such that I had to lean forward to catch that last bit.

"很多人都说, 不在乎天长地久, 只在乎曾经拥有. 这道理是行不通的. 谁不想要永恒的幸福快乐? 这句话只不过是用来安慰别人而已. 现在, 我终于明白, 爱你也难, 恨你也难的道理了. 你知道吗, 男人是世界上可恨的人. 他们只喜欢捧你. 六年前是这样. 现在还是这样. 这世界是不会变的. 我的朋友曾经问过我为什么会那么怕跟男人沟通, 但是我仍然笑着, 什么都没说. 她们怎么会明白呢? 现在, 在别人面前必须装着满面笑容的样子, 就宛如在拍戏似的. 算了, 反证天下无不散之筵席, 对吗?" I nodded, scribbling down whatever she has to say. It was difficult. My chinese standard, as you can see from the above, is just dreadful.

"泪水已经流干,前途也很渺茫
迷失的灵魂,我们应该怎么办
惩罚我们就是堂皇的协助成长
然后让我们一生绝望

有些人幸运天生没有战场
我们一出世就是自己孤军作战
站在十字路口的风雨中呐喊
不要让我们一生绝望"

-一生绝望-

"Well, it's hopeless now. Everything is over. I am so dead now. If only I were truly dead, then I don't have to worry anymore. No more thinking. No more stress. No more heartbreak. For a moment there, i thought my heart had broken into numerous minuscule of fragments. But, that's the most silly thing one can ever do isn't it? To commit suicide? It actually takes courage to make that first step, you know. You people always think that an act of suicidal is an act of cowardice when in actual fact, it is the total opposite. Have you ever tried to stand in a victim's shoes? Try standing on the 20th floor of a HDB flat and look down. Would you ever have the courage to swing your leg over the railings? Would you? No, right? See what I mean? It takes courage. Real courage to make that first step." I hastily backed away at this point, as she seemed slightly agitated. First and foremost, I had to protect myself in the event when she turns violent. Thankfully, none of that happened.

Suddenly, she started laughing again. I raised my eyebrow in amazement and did not know what to make of this scene.

"I never can figure out if it's just coincidence or not that just opposite my school stood a HDB flat that was tall enough to kill anyone that fell from the top floor. I've wondered on countless occasion what does it feel like to fly through the air, you know. Will your life flash through your mind as described in storybooks? Or will your mind just be a shroud of darkness. Blank. Will you really feel elated as you fall? Or will you be panicking, waiting anxiously for the impact? I guess I will never know till I try it out myself, right?" Her eyes twinkled with a tint of mischief as she said this. Was she for real or not? I did not know. Let's hope not.

"People lie all the time. It's only human nature. You cannot blame anyone for lying. All you can blame is yourself, for actually being naive enough to believe. Still, it's wrong to lie. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder was he just playing? It IS probable you know, but I will never know, will i? I will never know anything anymore. Nevertheless, I still believe everyone is good in this world. You should always give everyone the benefit of the doubt you know. By condemning someone is being as bad as them, that is, taking that they are as bad as you claim them to be. Oh well, I'm really tired now. I don't know if I can take this anymore." She closed her eyes and fell silent. For a moment there, I thought she fell asleep, but she started talking just as I was about to stand.

"People always say your friends will always be there for you when you are feeling down. Even in songs, it is depicted that a friend goes through thick and thin with you. But what if, you don't have any true friend? What if all your friends, are just nice people who keeps you company now and then? Friends? I don't know. I feel so lonely. I feel like just throwing in the white flag and everything will be over, won't it? I do feel as though all the happiness was sucked out of me. I don't even look forward to the prom anymore. Even the year-end trip does not arouse a slightest hint of excitement within me. Oh, god! What's happening to me?" There was silence again as she stopped talking.

"Anyhow, I've still got 4 more papers. Though it may seem that studying does no help now, it does no harm to try." At this, she stood up and sashayed towards the door.

"Oh, by the way, I'll be watching the movie, The Banquet sometime this weekend or next week. Do you think anyone would wanna come along?" she enquired as she paused by the door.

I stared at her dumbly, not knowing what to say.

"Oh, it's okie, I highly doubt anyone would be interested anyway. I was just asking. Take care now!" she waved and smiled. From her bright smile, no one would ever suspect her to be the very same girl who sat on the sofa across me a few minutes ago. And so she left the place, leaving me alone to think over all that she has said.

"我们什么都没有
也没有轻易的低头
我们什么都没有
也没有放弃的念头

不管路要怎么走
不管是谁牵着谁的手
只要我们的心
紧紧相扣我们就什么都拥有"


-拥有-

---------------

"How can I soar now, when the wind beneath my wings is gone?"

-Faith-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

--------------------oOo--------------------

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

"Dear God,

Hello again, Father.
I hope to see you soon, but till then, grant me the strength to preservere. Please do not let any thoughts side-track me. Keep me focused, and please please steer me back onto the path of happiness. Don't you abandon me when others have! Thank you.

Amen."

-Faith-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Friday, September 08, 2006

"I woke up this morning, feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed
and dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said, 'Somebody Loves You.'

But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look at Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise.

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home to tea

But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places,
Collecting social graces.
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter a while.
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo
and I start to fly.

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for paradise
You could be next to
An angel in disguise."

-An angel in disguise-

That's what she would do.
Treat it as being an angel to someone.
If only for a little while.

It feels great to help, but did she really?
She really hopes she did
If only for a little while.

-------------

To all readers out there,

Are you happy?

[Tag to reply]

--------------

"Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
An angel in disguise
Everyday can be lengendary
Every minute, an endless surprise.
You could be next to
an angel in disguise."

-An angel in disguise-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Thursday, September 07, 2006


"Think postive. Be happy."

-Faith-

---------------

Once, there were 2 fishes. Fish A and Fish B. While swimming one day, they came across a net. They hovered there for a moment, gazing at the net, not doing anything. All of a sudden, fish B started coaxing fish A towards the net. Slowly, sub-consiously, fish A started drifting towards the net. Despite the knowledge of what would happen if it were to enter the boundary of the net, fish A still swam towards it, spurred on by the sweet talks of fish B.

Finally, after much lies, much cheating, much sweet sayings by fish B, fish A was totally surrounded by the net.

Just then, fish B, satisfied with what it has done, left fish A. By then, the net had engulfed fish A. Fish B left Fish A alone to cope with the entangled mess of the net. Despite much efforts, fish A just could not find a way out. Soon, the net would be lifted out of the water. Fish A would then die. Or will it find a way out just in the nick of time?

---------------

Consider the above sentence.
Think over it.
Ponder over it.
Look at the authencity of the sentence.
Have fun getting confused!

---------------

"The good shall beget the good.
Don't lose faith.
God works in miraculous ways.
Do good, and you shall be rewarded."

-Faith-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Sunday, September 03, 2006

"The future depends on what we do in the present."

-Mahatma Ghandi-

---------------

"Click!"

She unlocked the gate and entered the deserted house. No one was at home. Silently, she dumped her bag on the sofa before sprinting up the stairs. Trying to muffle her footsteps, she entered her parents room and peered around. It took awhile before her eyes got adjusted to the darkness, but her gaze soon fell on the desk ladened with plastic bags. Eagerly, she approached the desk and stuck her head into the bags.

Whoa! Loads of new stuffs daddy bought from the IT fair. Nice! Smiling, she hastily returned everything to its original position and went down. As she strolled past her brother's room, something caught her eye. She backtracked and detoured into his room. Another surprise! There, on his table, was a new gadget. Cool!

Although daddy did not buy anything for her, she still felt happy that there were new things in the house! New things meant that daddy was happy! When daddy's happy, he won't scold her all the time, which is good. Really good.

---------------

BOO!

From behind, her friend lunged at her and caused her to stumble forward. She gasped and for a moment there thought she was going to have an asthma attack! Goodness, that slap on the back was hard. Felt as though someone threw a brick onto her back. Quickly, she recovered herself and kept her composure.

"Yes, xXx?"

"Were you scared?" her friend asked amidst laughter.

"Nope."

---------------

"Eh, 今天为什么打扮得那么漂亮?"

She looked at her ah mah and raised an eyebrow. She was merely wearing a black shirt and shorts. She sure won't call that dressing up!

"你穿黑色很美呀!"

She smiled and just laughed. Her ah mah probably missed her too much!

Thereafter, her ah mah went to work. In the evening, her ah mah came back for dinner and guess what? Ah mah still can't get that idea out of her mind.

"你穿黑色真的很美! 皮肤白白的, 漂亮喔!"

With that, her ah mah proceeded with pinching her cheeks. Ouch!

--------------

Sent a really weird sms to 6 ppl today. In a nutshell, the sms asked them to rate what they think of her from 1-9. Each number bearing different significance.

1 - Family member
2 - Confidante
3 - Friend
4 - Someone you hate
5 - Someone of importance
6 - Someone you think of often
7 - Someone that you'll tend to forget
8 - Future partner
9 - Someone you love.

Within the 6, included friends and kin. Guess what were their answers?

Their answers just showed that this is totally inaccurate! Out of 6, 4 replied 9 and 2 replied 1. And what do you know? The 2 that replied 1 were not even of kin. In contrast, those of kin replied 9. Guess this is just some form of entertainment.

---------------

Oops, sorry. Really bored nowadays and there's really no one to talk to so i'll just keep bothering you now and then. Let's just hope you won't get sick of me just yet, yeah?

Ganbatte!

---------------

"I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."

-Thomas A. Edison-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Saturday, September 02, 2006

"Star light, star bright,
First star i see tonight.
Wish i may, wish i might,
to get the wish i wish tonight."

-Faith-

---------------

Daddy went to the IT fair today. Wanted to join him initially, but then after hearing something from her brother, decided to give it a miss. Sorry Daddy!! Perhaps Daddy will enjoy the fair more without her tagging along. Therefore, it's a wise decision after all!! Then again, he seemed pretty hopeful when he asked her out. Oh well, what's done is done. Too late to regret.

Regret is a terrible thing. She seems to be doing alot of that. It's eating into her system, her heart, and her brain. Horrible! Losing sleep over so many things. Seems like the holidays did not help much! It only made things worse.

---------------

This is crap. The keypad is under control locked, and it is super difficult to type properly. The letter 'm' can't even be typed. Have to constantly press Ctrl v. In other words, cut and paste. Also, have to type in caps lock, thus the shift key has to be constantly pressed by the little pinkie. And to type caps? Uncap, hold shift, then type. And then later, cap it again, and shift the whole thing again to type small letters. Irritating!

---------------

"There's magic in the stars."

-Faith-

--------------------oOo--------------------

Friday, September 01, 2006

"Live fast, Die young."

-Faith-

---------------

She has tried everything, he just won't be happy! ARGH! She studies the whole day, but at the end of the day, daddy still isn't happy. Still complaining that she did not study enough. What is enough? It will NEVER be enough. This is totally insane!!

So what if she studies really hard? What if it does not produce any results? What if it all comes to nought? Looking at the way things are advancing, it seems that all her efforts might be for nothing. So scared now. Just slightly more than a week away and so many things to read, to memorise, to apply. There isn't enough time! But then again, it will NEVER be enough. She is so DEAD. DEAD. DEAD.

Feels as though she has advanced a step, but in reality, she has retreated by two. It's a tough life.

---------------

Guys have it difficult. It's tough being a guy. Picture this: A girl asking a guy, if your mum and I falls into the river, who would you save first? This is a totally illogical question!

For one, if the guy replies, you. The girl might think, since this guy does not even treasure a kinship that takes many years to develop, he might not treasure their relationship too. Result? She might have doubts in the guy.

For two, if the guy replies, my mother. The girl would then think, he places his mum before her. Does that mean she does not mean as much as his mum?

Don't you see? This is the most illogical question ever asked!! Ridiculous, i tell you. How can you expect a guy to give a correct answer, when there isn't one in the first place? Poor guys. You guys have it tough.

Also, guys have loads of unwritten responsibilities. National service, being the breadwinner, being the one who protects, etc. Poor things!! She's so glad she is girl.

Guys have it rough all over.

---------------

"Dying is nothing compared to living."

-Faith-

--------------------oOo--------------------