Saturday, February 26, 2011

"And it just keeps getting worse.."

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Is it not enough?
Have I not done enough?
Am I flawed in some serious ways??
Why.. must everything happen now..
Why, God, TELL ME! TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have 6 modules.
5 of them with projects and CAs.
There's dance uncensored.
I have to think of how to handle my parents when I graduate.
I have to think of how am I to manage my future.

There's so much to handle, but You just have to add more onto my already burdened shoulders.
Tell me. How do you want me to survive?
Is everything repeating? Am I going to do so badly this semester as in that particular semester??
Why?! Why does this ALWAYS happen to me?
Am I too nice?
I've given my all.. there's nothing left to give. I've really given my all.
Why isn't it enough?? WHY?!
IS it me? Am I terrible? Mean? Evil? Petty? What's wrong with me?!?!

Answer me.. What's wrong with me?
You have not gave me enough heart. I need to give more, but I have none left. I have no heart left. You have given me too much emotions and too little a heart to contain it.

I feel so weary.
I'm breaking down.
I don't know what to do anymore..

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"What did I do wrong?"

--------------------oOo--------------------

Friday, February 25, 2011

"It just keeps raining, raining, raining.."

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BURN OUT.

I just realise, I wish, there was a time where I can just enjoy what I'm doing and not have to worry about what others think, what others want, and what others feel.

I realised that all I can remember in uni life is: WORRY.

Year 1 semester 1: Concert + CAP
Year 1 semester 2: CAP CAP CAP!!!
Post Year 1: FLOAT FLOAT FLOAT
Year 2 semester 1: CONCERT CONCERT + CAP CAP CAP + RELATIONSHIP! GAWR! Hate relationship
Year 2 semester 2: CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP + RELATIONSHIP!!! RAWR!!!
Post Year 2: Preceptorship + FLOAT FLOAT + RELATIONSHIP!!!
Year 3 semester 1: Concert + RELATIONSHIP!!! RAWR RWAR RWAR!! CAP!
Year 3 semester 2: Dance uncensored + RELATIONSHIP!! + CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP!!
Post Year 3: Preceptorship + Relationship!!!
Year 4 semester 1: CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP + RELATIONSHIP!!
Year 4 semester 2: Dance uncensored + CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP CAP + Relationship...

As can be seen, CAP appears in all semester, and relationship appears in everything from year 2 semester 1 onwards.

I'm tired.
Can I screw everything and just play games, watch movies, and read my books??
Geez. As if that is possible at all.
RAWR.
On for dance...

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"It just goes round and round and round and round..."

--------------------oOo--------------------

Saturday, February 19, 2011

"I use to love,
butterflies and rainbows.
Now I love,
to be within your hold.

As much as we tease,
we end up in laughter.
May this last,
forever and ever."

-Faith-

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Since I'm home alone on this fine Saturday, I shall spend some quiet moments to update this neglected and abandoned confidante who has been with me since my JC days. =(

I'm sorry about Spain,
which I have yet to post,
but I'll do just that once I get them photos.

Lunar New Year
Lunar new year this year was far from the usual boredom! In fact, it was a hectic whirlwind of fun, laughter, and glorious food!

Reunion dinner as usual, was at my uncle's place. We had steam boat and my uncle kept saying that next year, we are going to have 2 tables, and do you know why? He INSISTS that next year, every single one of the grandchildren (i.e. my generation) will have to bring their girlfriends or boyfriends along, and he cheekily added, "Don't have one, also must bring one!" Like HUH? Is that even logical? Nonetheless, he kept harping on it throughout dinner to the point of ludicracy which kind of tickled everyone present.

If you've met my uncle, you will be be sure to be frightened of him, but yet his stubborness and sarcasm is enough to put anyone into fits of laughter.

Day 1
We woke up and left for my grandma's house. Surprise surprise, we were the first one there! I wonder why as each year passes, everyone seems to arrive later and later. Perhaps it'll come to a point where we just meet up for dinner and that's it. Nonetheless, we then went ahead with our annual ritual of going to the temple which, I can safely assure you, is super duper incredulously CROWDED! Then again, the sight at the temple each year is vividly different. During our younger days, there were more of the older generation, the dressing was different, and the pushing and shoving was top notch. Now, there are less pusing and shoving, and I guess the baby boomers have risen up the hierachy and thus are now in-charge of the temple visiting. The fashion statement is definitely different each year. This year, weirdly enough, the traditional costumes are everywhere! I mean in the past, sure, there'll be some kids running around in them and occasionally the females will don themselves in a slim-fit cheongsam in a bid to amplify their curvature, but this year, it seems like everyone is doing it!! Even korean costumes have surfaced.

Thereafter, we made our way to my grand-uncle's place all the way at Jurong East. It was a gathering to behold as it was literally a gathering of the old folks. My grandma + her sister + 3 of her brothers!! Wouldn't you agree that it's a wonderful sight? Imagine, just 60 or so years before, they were all living under one roof!!

After a long long day, I was then dropped off at Baby's house!! =) Baby's family is so nice!! And after dinner, we then walked to my cousin's place together where Baby talked to my mum the whole entire night as I played Mahjong!!! =D I had superb luck that day. xD The day ended late, but it was fun!!

Day 2
The next day, my family played mahjong intermittently while waiting for guests to arrive at my house! As such, it was play, then entertain guests, then play, then entertain. It was fun!! As it neared the evening, I drove to Baby's house to pick him up before making our way to my other cousin's house!! =D YES, I DROVE! ALL ALONE! =D Aren't you guys proud of me? xD

My cousin's house was neawly renovated and so it looked gorgeous!! The kitchen is fabulous with its clean cut look. It looks so neat and zen-like. It has this marble feel throughout and it looked rather spacious too after they removed the divider, which was indeed a smart move!! I never liked that divider. xD

The day ended late again, and we drove baby back home first before going home ourselves.

Day 3
Phew! After 2 days, you would think we would want a rest, but no!! My mum's friends were coming that night + a few of my friends and so, we spent the entire morning trying to prepare for it. Come to of it, on retrospect, I cannot really remember what I did that day. All I could recall was that I was really tired, and before I knew it, it was dinner time!! This time, my dad accompanied me as we made our way to Pasir Ris MRT station to pick my friends up. It was a gathering of all our PRC friends!!!!!!!

O.O
Sorry, but I'm really astounded at the collection of PRC friends we have. They're all either from ShangHai or studied at ShangHai. So you see? As much as PRCs try to irritate me, I still attempt to intergrate ok!!! Everyone, please say you are super proud of me. xD Just joking..

After a night's worth of converstaion in MANDARIN, yes MANDARIN, the entire house was left in utter madness and chaos.

Day 4
THE BIG DAY. 'tis the day all my friends are coming over!! Gosh! We don't ever have a break, do we? So early in the morning, my dad and I made our way to the fresh market to buy all the food for the much anticipated lunch! Thereafter, we rushed to pick Baby up, and then to Katong where we had a brief lunch and bought MORE food. Much more thereafter later, (Haha!) we went to pick my grandma up and then picked up a few of my friends who were already at the station waiting for me.

And then, LUNCH!!!! It was a huge round table with all 12 of us!! We even had wine and all! IT was a good lunch, I hope. Well, it better be good!! I woke up early just to prepare for it!!!! I hope everyone had fun!!!

After lunch, those who had to leave earlier had the priviledge of being driven by yours truly!!! Lalala! I can drive! =P






It was an awesome lunch. Baby and I then became toufu for the rest of the day as we waited for my dad's friend to arrive at night. YUPs. We never do rest. =) And to end off the day, we slowly made our back to hall with our pockets full of... ANG BAOs!

So there you go, a super long description of my lunar new year. =)

May every year be like this!! Fun, exciting, and exhausting!!!!! I hate lunar new years where we end up in front of the computer playing computer games. What's the point of new year then? It's to GO OUT, VISIT, CATCH UP, and most importantly, HAVE FUN, LAUGH, and you'll reap a GOOD beginning. =)

I hope everyone else had fun!! Oh, and collected loads of... $$$$$$! Important okies!! =P

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To my dearest baby:

Thanks so much for keeping me entertained!
The year has so far been the sweetest and happiest one. =)
<3 you!

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"Chocolates and ponies,
and lollipops and teddies,
nothing is as sweet as thee!"

-Faith-

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