This is my third entry I write from hall, I think. =P

Alright!! I’m now in Yuko’s room. Haha! Thanks a lot yuko for allowing me to bunk in your room. Really sorry if I keep disturbing you! =X Oops! Haha!

Anyway, I’m now back in hall for Concert meeting! O.O I am so excited for next year’s concert! I really really hope that it’ll turn out great!! Do come for concert next year, yeah? I can only assure you that it won’t be let down! =D

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I did the most ridiculous thing on Monday!

Woke up bright and early on Monday and headed down to CGH. Thereafter, rushed back home, packed my bags, and then rushed down for piano.

Being my first attempt to get there via public transport, I am clueless as to how to make my way there. My dad told me to take the same buses I take to work one year ago. So, okay. I took those buses, only to realize that it will not take me to my desired destination! AHH!! I quickly alighted and asked my teacher for directions. It was only then that I found out that I had a direct bus from my house all the way to her house!!

Silly me, should have asked my teacher right from the start! Instead of one bus, I ended up taking 3 buses!! Imagine the bus fare!! Zzz.. Oh well!

At least now I know how to get to her house! =D

After piano, I had to rush back to hall for concert meeting! Oops! I ended up being late since I was late for my piano lesson as well.
Discussion was long, long, long, but it was what we had to do, and I don’t think any of us are complaining much! =P

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It’s been more than a week since I’m back in hall! I’m now writing from my own room, instead of Yuko’s! Thanks again Yuko!!

Float has now started, and going into day 5 today. I wouldn’t say float is tiring, but I guess it is draining having to constantly generate ideas.

You know the feeling you have, of wanting to contribute, yet somehow have no idea how? Well, float is inducing a lot of those kinds of feeling in me, and it definitely is not helping much! I sometimes hate my stupid brain for not having any amount of “creative juices” stored. Rather than part of the team, I feel as though I make up the NUMBERS of the team, ‘cause I really do not see how I have contributed as opposed to the rest of the team members.

I feel that sometimes I might be a burden to the team ‘cause I do not really know how things work, and my mind is like super slow, and stupid, and idiotic, and yeah, useless. I have most probably disappointed the float team, and not to mention myself. Zzz.. That’s what I have been doing a lot lately! =[

I know I’m supposed to work on this ‘useless’ aspect of mine, but sometimes it just makes things worse. It’s like trying to force something out of nothing, and despite all the efforts, and still nothing is churned out, this heavy, sinking feelings starts to set in!!

I’m really sorry to the float team, but nevertheless, I shall keep doing my best, and pray hard that I do not burn out even before float is over. I really really hope that one day, I will become part of the team rather than a burden to them. ^.^

Jiayou!

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I’m quite sorry to Eileen and Kai, for having to work so hard, on top of RHOC which I know is equally as draining, if not more. I hope things will get better, but for now, let’s hang in there okay!! ^.^

I’m also so so sorry to the concert team, for delaying the script, for demanding so much, for making things rather difficult! I’m really sorry!! We shall try to work round the script such that it does not get so tedious, but for now, just ganbatte!!

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I know I should not be saying so many sorries, and I know most of you hate me for saying the word ‘sorry’, but.. I just cannot help it. I feel so indebted to so many people, not to mention disappointing them. It’s quite torturous, but I have no idea why I feel this way!! HELP!!

Oh, and the reality of my results has just whacked, smacked, slammed right into my face with all the talks of results during float. Zzz.. Doesn’t really help, does it?

Alright, I’ll have to rush for float now!

All the best to all how are busy with their own commitments. If the going gets tough, hang in there!! ^.^

"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"

- Proverbs 17:17 -

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Taiwan was fun and exciting!! I guess the most important fact that made it all the more precious is that I went with block 5 girls!! I am already missing everything, though I’ve been home for less than a week! I guess that just goes to show how much impact they have left in my life. Hehe!

Throughout the entire trip, it was free and easy all the way. We took it slow and did not attempt to kill ourselves during this trip. Though I know that most people would make the most out of a trip, seeing that they would have to spend on air ticket again if they were to return, but we did not cram our itinery up! Instead, we gave ourselves at least 6-7 hours of sleep each time, sometimes even more! It was a pure relaxation trip! Super fun!

There is just so much to say; so much to describe!! I shall write more, in my next entry!!

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Results are atrocious, as usual.
And, I thought it would be better.
Guess not! Geez!

On a lighter note, I did score my first A. Hooray for that. I should be happy. Yes, I should.

Smile, Clara. =]

But!! I just can’t! WHY?!
I guess I expected too much this semester.

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“The guy just suddenly.. disappeared..”

Guys are just such.. BUSTARDS at times. No, it’s not that I do not know how to spell that word. That word is such an awful word that I don’t think it’s even proper to spell it right!

Goodness!!
So pissed.

Can’t you at least say something before ‘disappearing without a trace’? How can someone be so irresponsible? How can someone be so heartless? How can someone be so thoughtless?!

I don’t even want to imagine, but what does it matter? I am forced to see and experience such beasts. In the first place, you were the one who chased her. You visited her at night, you sweet talked her, and you did so many nice things for her. You led her on; you made her happy. You even gave everyone the wrong idea!

But, who would have known that all you did was this: You toyed with her feelings; you treated this whole thing like game. You sent her on a ride that had more turns than a roller coaster, a ride that went berserk.

Actually, all you needed to say was sorry. At least say that you are leaving, and not leave without any hint!! But, I guess perhaps, you were just scared. Or perhaps, you do not even know what to do. I probably understand, but that is still no excuse to leave her guessing; to leave her wondering.

One may think that leaving without saying anything is the best solution to end everything, but I would say that you are terribly wrong. All you did is to leave behind a whole bunch of question marks with her, and now, she does not even know whether to hate you for starting the whole thing, or to thank you for ending it early.

I’m not condemning all guys. I do know that there are nice guys out there, and no doubt, there are some that are even nicer than nice. Still, I guess I’m just unlucky enough to meet SO MANY of such dreadful guys.

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Today was super busy!!

Woke up bright and early just to head to school. Thereafter, went back to hall, waited for people to wake up, and then pass some things on.

Thankfully, I had lunch! Then, it was to rush down to East Coast Park. I think I walked the entire East Coast, looking for them. Atlas! It started to rain, and I had to walk all the way back where I came from!! AH!

They decided to head down to Dhoby Ghaut’s Mind’s Café. Sadly, upon arrival, I could only stay with them for 15 minutes before rushing off to City Hall for another gathering! Busy Busy Busy!!

Tired too, but happy!

I met up with so many people today. It’s amazing how 15 minutes of chat can rekindle the friendship that you thought you had lost. Be it mindless chatter, or tongue in cheek, it does not really matter at times, and certain phrases just stick in your head. For eg, “I’ve known Clara for the longest here.” I don’t know, I guess the fact that someone actually said this sentence just shows that someone actually noticed me! Haha! And, somehow, though it seems ordinary, it just made my day.

It feels weird as people around me get attached. As they started talking about their partners, it feels super weird, especially people whom you have never seen attached before. It’s like. WHAT? So-and-so is attached?! We can’t help but giggle with glee, and thank God for bringing them together. Haha!!

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"The greatest love a person can have for his friends is to give his life for them."

- John 15:13 -