"You all know her, everyone's seen her.
She's that one beautiful, untouchable girl.
Everyone wants her, no on can have her.
That beautiful untouchable girl.

I saw her everyday, I knew she's destine to be mine.
That beautiful untouchable girl.
Her smile brighter than the sun, her eyes could pierce your soul.
I gonna have that beautiful untouchable girl.

I'll tell her what she wants to hear till she's laying next to me.
Then she'll no longer be so beautiful or untouchable.
I've got her, this beautiful, untouchable girl.
Now all be jealous of me.

Cause I've got what only you can see.
She's laying next to me now.
What was once strong now weak,
once beautiful and untouchable now ugly and full of my fingerprints.

Completely destroyed.
My conquered land.
No longer so beautiful or untouchable girl!"

-Beautiful, untouchable girl.-

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I don't think there's a need for you to read on. It's just that I'm really vexed and I'm tearfully bored to death.

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After that terrible X horrible X vegetables Valentine's day, well, I thought nothing could be worse than that, but boy, was I wrong.

Days went by where I do things which I do not want to do, but yet I feel there's a need for it. It's better to hate than to love. At least if you hate, it's clear cut. Loathe to your heart's content. BUT, if you love, you won't know whether to hate, like or feel sad. Best is if you avoid people like me who has this tendency of throwomg people into a whirlpool of trouble.

I never knew it would be so difficult to make someone hate me. I admit. I tried it before, but my heart was pierced before my plans were successful. In the end? I decided to just let everything work themsevles out. It was my worst decision. I wouldn't be hurt if I had made him hate me. How I wish I did.

Now, I'm doing everything all over again. It hurts so much. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so rotten today. Who would want anyone to hate them? It's pretty senseless. Everyone wishes to be well-loved. So there you go, I'm senseless. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I have no idea what's happening. I have no idea what's going on.

Everyone is pretty much ignoring me. It's fine with me, by all means, don't talk to me. I have no idea where my life is leading anyway. No benifits will be gained from being my friend. Best if you don't waste any time on me, isn't it?

Half a year has come and gone. It's really fast isn't it? That's how long it's been since my prelims. My my.. It's really long. Soon, the results will be out and a few hearts shall be broken. It's not that I do not want to do well, but despite everything, I just know I won't. No use keeping a fool's hope. Why climb so high only knowing that you'll fall all the way down? It's uselss. How I wish I was smarter, or at least had some talent in something. Oh dear father, are you going to let me stumble through life without so much as having a niche area or are you doing this because you can't wait to meet me again? It's sweet of you, if that's the case, but I don't think that's such a good idea.

Chinese New Year is just a few days away, but I'm no longer excited. Everything just seems normal all of a sudden. Oh man, I can't help but laugh now. It's such a classic case Deja Vu. I wrote the same things after my As. Damn stupid. And no, don't worry I won't go into so much a detail as I did during my prelims-As period. But seriously, do you think I have a knack of becoming a psychologists? Or am I just a plain nutcase? I don't want to be a psychologists anyway. It was a random thought.

I really really think the happiness has been sucked out of me. It's been so long. When will it all end? Maybe it's because there's really nothing to be happy about at the moment. Tell me, is there anything in my life that's worth a smile? A genuine one? Is there?

Oh heck. It's just been a sad sad day.

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"I won't ask for jewels,
I won't ask for a money tree.
I won't ask for much,
Just something out of reach.

It is known to be everywhere,
yet always hidden from sight.
Who then, I ask sincerely,
will lead me from darkness to light?

I had it before,
and it felt like rainbows and butterfiles.
In a day it was gone,
and all I did was heave a great sigh.

Like the twinkle of stars admidst the blanket of darkness,
Ubiquitous was the charm of it.
Like the sweetness of cherries and the joy of a newborn,
Irresistable for only sorrow forbids.

I see it here and there,
Such a treasure, such a wonder,
Yet out of reach it remains,
over the mountains yonder.

I do not ask for love nor money,
Just a longing to be happy.
So who then, will listen when I say,
Where forth art thou happiness?"

-Faith-