"我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早已注定
不能真正拥有你
当我真心付出一切
只为了承受孤单和寂寞"
-如果你还爱我-
--------------
"Come on! Would the two of you please walk faster?!"
They laughed.
"Do you realise that we're walking slower and slower as we near the gates?"
"I guess it's because no one wants to get the results."
"THE TWO OF YOU! WOULD YOU PLEASE PICK UP THE PACE!!"
"Alright Tess, no need to hurry," she laughed as she caught up with her friend.
"Hmmm.. The school seems awfully quiet," her friend commented as she surveyed her surroundings.
"Hey, you're right! I wonder what does this mean. Don't tell me everyone is already in the hall?!" she exclaimed in alarm.
"Come on!"
Quickly, she sped up and in seconds, she was well ahead of the group.
"Hey Tess, didn't you ask us to speed up? Now you're the one lagging behind!"
Her friend laughed.
"Relax Clara. Just breathe."
"Oh no oh no oh no!! I can hear a commotion from the hall! They are announcing something. We're late!!" She suddenly screamed and pulled her friends forward.
"This is so so bad.."
They laughed again.
"Clara!"
She smiled apologetically at them.
"I'm really terrified. This feeling is so different from the Os. At least during the Os, I was more confident. Now, it's like - a sure die kind of thing."
"Nonsense! Come on, let's go up. Remember, no matter what your results are, must call me! It's important!" her friend said for the umpteenth time that day.
She nodded and smiled at them before parting. Their classes were situated in the front of the hall while hers was nearer to the back. As she entered the hall from the back door, she scanned the area for her class. With much difficulty, she spotted her class. There were only a miserable few present. No doubt, the rest were late. As usual. As she approached her class, she saw her teacher beckoning to her. Curious, she made her way cautiously to her teacher, side-stepping all the other students who were seated cross-legged on the floor. She smiled at her teacher as she signed on the piece of paper thrust into her hands. At the same time, a paper that weighed more than a ton was handed over to her. Thereafter, she was advised to sit with the rest of the class.
"Clara! May I sit next to you?"
"Sure, thing!"
They laughed as she sat down.
"Hey, Mrs Chua does not seem happy! Die already. Are our results bad?" she asked her friend the moment her friend shuffled over.
"Huh? But she was chatting with me happily just a while ago," came the reply.
"Really?! Then this is so bad for me! I must have done terribly! She looked so disappointed when I went to her just now!" she said hysterically.
"Don't be silly. You're sure to get at least 3As k?"
"Hope so! I'm sure you can get yours! You studied so very hard!!" she said, her face beaming at her friend.
Before long, their conversation was interrupted by the discipline master.
Yada-yada went the discipline master, with his usual long list of announcements as well as words of caution. Then, the mike was passed to the principal. Yada-yada went the principal with her welcome back speech followed by the usual 'how-well-the-school-did' speech. Clap Clap Clap! went the crowd. People cheered. Some remained silent - too daunted by the prospect of receiving their results. Slides after slides of powerpoint showed them the percentage distinction of the various subjects. The enthusiastic applause seem never to end. Slowly, her clapping started to slow down. The truth suddenly became clear. If she were to miss a B, she would be in the last 10% of the cohort. That would be horrible! All the more dread in receiving the results.
Finally, slides after slides of students with 3As started flashing across the screen. More screams erupted from within the crowd. The clapping grew louder. People from the back started craning their necks to get a better view of the screen. CG 10 flashed. 15. 19. 24. Finally, 27. Her class erupted. 2 of her classmates managed to get onto the list! Sweet! After 2 years of being deprived of As, finally, the time has come for them to prove themselves. Not one A, but 6 As in a row! Can you believe it? She could hardly believe her eyes. It's been 2 long years! The long wait has ended. The sight of her happy friends filled her heart with warmth and laughter. They definitely deserved it. After all the hard work they put in, it was a well deserved reward!
Then again, the fact that her name did not appear did demoralise her. She thought to herself, not 3 As? I'm dead. I don't even have 3 As! Shit! I can't possible score better than 3 As. Her clapping grew softer and softer. At her side, her friend seemed downcast too. Both knew that it was near hopeless to score better than 3 As. Nevertheless, they kept their eyes peeled for names of their friends. Whenever they saw familiar names, they would scream the name out involuntarily. It was like a reflex action of some sort.
Again, CG 1 flashed. 7, 12, 16, 21, 25.. Wait, where's 27? Don't tell me there's none? she thought to herself wildly. She stretched her neck further. Where's her class?! And there! Right at the bottom! The lone survival! The class exploded! They clapped vigorously with all their might. She slapped her face in disbelieve. Her name was repeated over and over again as her friends screamed her name simultaneously. IS IT REALLY HAPPENING? OMG! This can't be happening. But it is! SWEET! Sodaliciously sweet!! The sight of As is so so nice.
Thereafter, everything was a haze. Although her results weren't fantastic, it was an originally impossible achievement. She was waiting for her dad to call, so that she could scream the delightful results into his ears. However, fate has it that the first person outside of school to know her results was not her dad. I'm not gonna say who that is, but it was indeed a surprise. Sweet though it was, it was still shocking to receive that phone call.
---------------
Happiness is always shortlived. Yes, I agree, but for it to last only an hour?! That's really short. Shorter than short! Sad. Sad. SAD! I'm so sick of everything. People either shun me or bombard me. I don't know if I should be thankful or not. Initially, the sarcastic remarks were casually brushed off, like a house fly that has landed on the shoulders, but soon, it starts to get biting. It's like people suddenly turn so nasty.
But of course, I know it's temporary, so naturally still laugh and smile at them. Overall though, i'm still happy for my results. I really am! But.. it's just. Oh heck, it's just frustrating. Too difficult to be penned in words.
I can't get the choice I want. I hate the choice they want. Haiz. Sad Sad.
The outing is like going hay-wire. I'm sure it'll cork up at the last minute again. ARGH! People sure say if blah blah don't go, I won't go etc etc. Then the same sad and frustrating ending occurs again!! AGAIN AND AGAIN! SAD! [Sad please please persuade geo to go..coz if not it'll be 2 less ppl. Sin, please go too! KT & TZ!! Argh.. never confirm with me de. All say see how. T.T]
Work ending soon. Like a sad ending to a sad tale.
Everything's ending.
Oh right, I still have to write to Mercy Relief. Hope they have places available!!
I will miss being a 小妹.
Can't wait for this year's guitar concert. Wonder when rehearsals will begin.
Oh yeah, I just realise that whenever I go back to TJ, I'll be running here and there. Haha. Despite all this, I still see my juniors. It's really funny.
It's like -
Once again, she stepped into the school. It was her second time this week. Knowing her tight schedule (having a need to rush back to office before lunch time is over), she walked briskly through the school canteen before breaking into a jog. As she ran, she saw a familiar face. That person stopped short and stared at her. Knowing that it was her junior, she smiled and said hi. Before her junior could even react, she rushed off. As she turned back, she nearly laughed at the bewildered look on her junior's face. As she ran further on, she saw another familiar face. Hi! She called out before her junior could stop and stare. However, that did not help either as her junior stopped, turned and stared with her jaws dropping. Seriously, her mouth was literally gaping. She quickly flew up the stairs leading to the staff room and made her way to the phone placed outside. What do you know? 2 more juniors were there too! As she waited for her teacher to pick up the call, she could vividly hear and feel her juniors pointing at her.
"Hey, that's Clara right?"
"Yeah!"
"What's she doing here?"
She turned and smiled at them, mouthing the word hi.
They stared at her, seemingly lost for words.
Realising how silly they look, they smiled and said hi.
Haha.. So that's how it went. The appraisal form which my teacher wrote was like, WHOAH! Of course, I could not view the actual contents, but the envelope! Impressive! With the school's logo and all. Plus, at the back, just between the seal and the envelope is the school's stamp! It's like the Hogwart's letter in Harry Potter! The stamp is circular in shape too! It looked so CLASS! Haha..And, there's the word CONFIDENTIAL on it. Like a super important letter. Hope she wrote nice things about me!!
Hmmm.. Kkz. I better draft that letter to Mercy Relief.
Signing off [12:00am]
---------------
OKay! I'm back! I drafted the letter and sent it out! I doubt they'll get back to me that quickly though since it's the weekends and all. Anyhow, I was glancing through my blog and realised that it's been in a VERY depressed state for far too long. So here are a few pictures for the eyes to feast upon and to brighten up this blog of mine!
First a brief introduction for the pictures.
The pictures were all taken using hanphone!! So the quality is really bad. No choice. My brother took my camera without informing me! ARGH. He's always like that. What to do? He's my brother. Scold him only, my parents condemn me. It's like, just because he's related to me, he can destroy me. T.T I mean, it's different, you know? He always asks me questions just when I'm trying hard to concentrate for a test, and when I say I don't know, he makes it sounds as though I refuses to help. I mean, come on, I'm not a genius and I'm always a one-ear-in-the-other-ear-out kind of person, how am I supposed to remember what I learnt 2 years ago? It sounds like a century! And because of that, I'm condemned to be a SELFISH and THOUGHTLESS girl, with no patience what-so-ever, without a thought of kindness in my bones. Fine! Maybe I am. If that's how my parents see me, it can't be helped. I love my brother. I really do! but they think otherwise. Haiz. Sad again.
Anyhow, yeah, so they are all poor quality photos, unlike my previous entries. And well, not really in the mood to take alot of pics also. Thus the small array of pictures.
That reminds me! Right before the outing (to celebrate another friend's b'day again. ^.^) -
They were seated in the car as her father volunteered to drive her to the MRTstation. He's so nice right? Then again, he had a motive! During the whole drive, he bombarded her with choices she SHOULD make in order to secure a better future. So starts the quarrel again. The constant argueing is a common sight nowadays. (Even after applying, he's still at it! Saying what a WRONG choice she's making. -.-)
"Clara, listen to me! I'm your father, I won't ask you to make a wrong choice one.."
"But daddy! I really don't like -"
WHAM! BANG! [Don't worry, no BOOM.]
"Shit," her father muttered under his breath and quickly opened the door. He strolled purposefully to the back of his car and started saying something to the driver of the car who banged headfirst into our car. Before long, he was back inside and said that he would drive her drive to the station. Thank goodness! She nearly had the right mind to run all the way to the station first as she was already rushing for time.
The most hilarious thing happened during dinner. Daddy sent an SMS.
It read,"Please testify for me in court."
Here are the much awaited pictures!
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早已注定
不能真正拥有你
当我真心付出一切
只为了承受孤单和寂寞"
-如果你还爱我-
--------------
"Come on! Would the two of you please walk faster?!"
They laughed.
"Do you realise that we're walking slower and slower as we near the gates?"
"I guess it's because no one wants to get the results."
"THE TWO OF YOU! WOULD YOU PLEASE PICK UP THE PACE!!"
"Alright Tess, no need to hurry," she laughed as she caught up with her friend.
"Hmmm.. The school seems awfully quiet," her friend commented as she surveyed her surroundings.
"Hey, you're right! I wonder what does this mean. Don't tell me everyone is already in the hall?!" she exclaimed in alarm.
"Come on!"
Quickly, she sped up and in seconds, she was well ahead of the group.
"Hey Tess, didn't you ask us to speed up? Now you're the one lagging behind!"
Her friend laughed.
"Relax Clara. Just breathe."
"Oh no oh no oh no!! I can hear a commotion from the hall! They are announcing something. We're late!!" She suddenly screamed and pulled her friends forward.
"This is so so bad.."
They laughed again.
"Clara!"
She smiled apologetically at them.
"I'm really terrified. This feeling is so different from the Os. At least during the Os, I was more confident. Now, it's like - a sure die kind of thing."
"Nonsense! Come on, let's go up. Remember, no matter what your results are, must call me! It's important!" her friend said for the umpteenth time that day.
She nodded and smiled at them before parting. Their classes were situated in the front of the hall while hers was nearer to the back. As she entered the hall from the back door, she scanned the area for her class. With much difficulty, she spotted her class. There were only a miserable few present. No doubt, the rest were late. As usual. As she approached her class, she saw her teacher beckoning to her. Curious, she made her way cautiously to her teacher, side-stepping all the other students who were seated cross-legged on the floor. She smiled at her teacher as she signed on the piece of paper thrust into her hands. At the same time, a paper that weighed more than a ton was handed over to her. Thereafter, she was advised to sit with the rest of the class.
"Clara! May I sit next to you?"
"Sure, thing!"
They laughed as she sat down.
"Hey, Mrs Chua does not seem happy! Die already. Are our results bad?" she asked her friend the moment her friend shuffled over.
"Huh? But she was chatting with me happily just a while ago," came the reply.
"Really?! Then this is so bad for me! I must have done terribly! She looked so disappointed when I went to her just now!" she said hysterically.
"Don't be silly. You're sure to get at least 3As k?"
"Hope so! I'm sure you can get yours! You studied so very hard!!" she said, her face beaming at her friend.
Before long, their conversation was interrupted by the discipline master.
Yada-yada went the discipline master, with his usual long list of announcements as well as words of caution. Then, the mike was passed to the principal. Yada-yada went the principal with her welcome back speech followed by the usual 'how-well-the-school-did' speech. Clap Clap Clap! went the crowd. People cheered. Some remained silent - too daunted by the prospect of receiving their results. Slides after slides of powerpoint showed them the percentage distinction of the various subjects. The enthusiastic applause seem never to end. Slowly, her clapping started to slow down. The truth suddenly became clear. If she were to miss a B, she would be in the last 10% of the cohort. That would be horrible! All the more dread in receiving the results.
Finally, slides after slides of students with 3As started flashing across the screen. More screams erupted from within the crowd. The clapping grew louder. People from the back started craning their necks to get a better view of the screen. CG 10 flashed. 15. 19. 24. Finally, 27. Her class erupted. 2 of her classmates managed to get onto the list! Sweet! After 2 years of being deprived of As, finally, the time has come for them to prove themselves. Not one A, but 6 As in a row! Can you believe it? She could hardly believe her eyes. It's been 2 long years! The long wait has ended. The sight of her happy friends filled her heart with warmth and laughter. They definitely deserved it. After all the hard work they put in, it was a well deserved reward!
Then again, the fact that her name did not appear did demoralise her. She thought to herself, not 3 As? I'm dead. I don't even have 3 As! Shit! I can't possible score better than 3 As. Her clapping grew softer and softer. At her side, her friend seemed downcast too. Both knew that it was near hopeless to score better than 3 As. Nevertheless, they kept their eyes peeled for names of their friends. Whenever they saw familiar names, they would scream the name out involuntarily. It was like a reflex action of some sort.
Again, CG 1 flashed. 7, 12, 16, 21, 25.. Wait, where's 27? Don't tell me there's none? she thought to herself wildly. She stretched her neck further. Where's her class?! And there! Right at the bottom! The lone survival! The class exploded! They clapped vigorously with all their might. She slapped her face in disbelieve. Her name was repeated over and over again as her friends screamed her name simultaneously. IS IT REALLY HAPPENING? OMG! This can't be happening. But it is! SWEET! Sodaliciously sweet!! The sight of As is so so nice.
Thereafter, everything was a haze. Although her results weren't fantastic, it was an originally impossible achievement. She was waiting for her dad to call, so that she could scream the delightful results into his ears. However, fate has it that the first person outside of school to know her results was not her dad. I'm not gonna say who that is, but it was indeed a surprise. Sweet though it was, it was still shocking to receive that phone call.
---------------
Happiness is always shortlived. Yes, I agree, but for it to last only an hour?! That's really short. Shorter than short! Sad. Sad. SAD! I'm so sick of everything. People either shun me or bombard me. I don't know if I should be thankful or not. Initially, the sarcastic remarks were casually brushed off, like a house fly that has landed on the shoulders, but soon, it starts to get biting. It's like people suddenly turn so nasty.
But of course, I know it's temporary, so naturally still laugh and smile at them. Overall though, i'm still happy for my results. I really am! But.. it's just. Oh heck, it's just frustrating. Too difficult to be penned in words.
I can't get the choice I want. I hate the choice they want. Haiz. Sad Sad.
The outing is like going hay-wire. I'm sure it'll cork up at the last minute again. ARGH! People sure say if blah blah don't go, I won't go etc etc. Then the same sad and frustrating ending occurs again!! AGAIN AND AGAIN! SAD! [Sad please please persuade geo to go..coz if not it'll be 2 less ppl. Sin, please go too! KT & TZ!! Argh.. never confirm with me de. All say see how. T.T]
Work ending soon. Like a sad ending to a sad tale.
Everything's ending.
Oh right, I still have to write to Mercy Relief. Hope they have places available!!
I will miss being a 小妹.
Can't wait for this year's guitar concert. Wonder when rehearsals will begin.
Oh yeah, I just realise that whenever I go back to TJ, I'll be running here and there. Haha. Despite all this, I still see my juniors. It's really funny.
It's like -
Once again, she stepped into the school. It was her second time this week. Knowing her tight schedule (having a need to rush back to office before lunch time is over), she walked briskly through the school canteen before breaking into a jog. As she ran, she saw a familiar face. That person stopped short and stared at her. Knowing that it was her junior, she smiled and said hi. Before her junior could even react, she rushed off. As she turned back, she nearly laughed at the bewildered look on her junior's face. As she ran further on, she saw another familiar face. Hi! She called out before her junior could stop and stare. However, that did not help either as her junior stopped, turned and stared with her jaws dropping. Seriously, her mouth was literally gaping. She quickly flew up the stairs leading to the staff room and made her way to the phone placed outside. What do you know? 2 more juniors were there too! As she waited for her teacher to pick up the call, she could vividly hear and feel her juniors pointing at her.
"Hey, that's Clara right?"
"Yeah!"
"What's she doing here?"
She turned and smiled at them, mouthing the word hi.
They stared at her, seemingly lost for words.
Realising how silly they look, they smiled and said hi.
Haha.. So that's how it went. The appraisal form which my teacher wrote was like, WHOAH! Of course, I could not view the actual contents, but the envelope! Impressive! With the school's logo and all. Plus, at the back, just between the seal and the envelope is the school's stamp! It's like the Hogwart's letter in Harry Potter! The stamp is circular in shape too! It looked so CLASS! Haha..And, there's the word CONFIDENTIAL on it. Like a super important letter. Hope she wrote nice things about me!!
Hmmm.. Kkz. I better draft that letter to Mercy Relief.
Signing off [12:00am]
---------------
OKay! I'm back! I drafted the letter and sent it out! I doubt they'll get back to me that quickly though since it's the weekends and all. Anyhow, I was glancing through my blog and realised that it's been in a VERY depressed state for far too long. So here are a few pictures for the eyes to feast upon and to brighten up this blog of mine!
First a brief introduction for the pictures.
The pictures were all taken using hanphone!! So the quality is really bad. No choice. My brother took my camera without informing me! ARGH. He's always like that. What to do? He's my brother. Scold him only, my parents condemn me. It's like, just because he's related to me, he can destroy me. T.T I mean, it's different, you know? He always asks me questions just when I'm trying hard to concentrate for a test, and when I say I don't know, he makes it sounds as though I refuses to help. I mean, come on, I'm not a genius and I'm always a one-ear-in-the-other-ear-out kind of person, how am I supposed to remember what I learnt 2 years ago? It sounds like a century! And because of that, I'm condemned to be a SELFISH and THOUGHTLESS girl, with no patience what-so-ever, without a thought of kindness in my bones. Fine! Maybe I am. If that's how my parents see me, it can't be helped. I love my brother. I really do! but they think otherwise. Haiz. Sad again.
Anyhow, yeah, so they are all poor quality photos, unlike my previous entries. And well, not really in the mood to take alot of pics also. Thus the small array of pictures.
That reminds me! Right before the outing (to celebrate another friend's b'day again. ^.^) -
They were seated in the car as her father volunteered to drive her to the MRTstation. He's so nice right? Then again, he had a motive! During the whole drive, he bombarded her with choices she SHOULD make in order to secure a better future. So starts the quarrel again. The constant argueing is a common sight nowadays. (Even after applying, he's still at it! Saying what a WRONG choice she's making. -.-)
"Clara, listen to me! I'm your father, I won't ask you to make a wrong choice one.."
"But daddy! I really don't like -"
WHAM! BANG! [Don't worry, no BOOM.]
"Shit," her father muttered under his breath and quickly opened the door. He strolled purposefully to the back of his car and started saying something to the driver of the car who banged headfirst into our car. Before long, he was back inside and said that he would drive her drive to the station. Thank goodness! She nearly had the right mind to run all the way to the station first as she was already rushing for time.
The most hilarious thing happened during dinner. Daddy sent an SMS.
It read,"Please testify for me in court."
Here are the much awaited pictures!
Day 1: Bev's B'day!
Day 2: Yun's plus Qq's B'day!
HP Quality? Haha.
Girls!! PRETTY! B'day
Qq and me!!
Haha.. Fooling around. =P
Signing off [6:00pm]
-------------
I was right. There are people who cancelled at the last minute. EVEN more people says they'll be late. >.< I'm so scared now. What will happen tomorrow?
-------------
"虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不在属于我
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪默默的离开"
-如果你还爱我-
The stars twinkled on Faith @ 10:36 PM::
--------------------oOo--------------------
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