“A weak man has doubts before a decision, a strong man has them afterwards.”

-Karl Kraus-

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May everyone have a joyous new year ahead!! May the coming New Year be fulfilling and meaningful, stuffed with no regrets! Have fun, play hard, study hard, work hard, and live life to the fullest!

Well, that said, here is a list of my New Year resolutions.


1. Be less selfish, think more of others, be nicer to others, and help more!
2. Talk less, more action!
3. Study ultra duber hard!! Caps of 3.5 by 2nd semester at the very least!
4. Not having any regrets.


There. Only 4 resolutions. It shouldn’t be that hard to adhere to, right? Hopefully, I do not break any resolutions!!

It’s funny how time can drift past us so quickly, and so silently. Yes, we know that time is ticking away, but yet we are still amazed when we realise how much time has flew by. Humans are weird creatures. Even though they know it, they still find ways to make themselves NOT believe it. Is it a tactic to make one feel better? Or is it a form of escaping?

I find that, at some point in time, we would always run. Maybe not all the time, but there will come a point in time when we would refuse to face reality, and instead huddle within our comfort zone. Even if it’s for a short time frame of 5 minutes.

I know that I have been running, and in fact, still running. I realise that I can no longer stop. It has become a habit. What a strange habit. Weird. I am weird. I acknowledge that, but sometimes I am just dumbfounded. Why do people have to adhere to constrains set by society? Why can’t people accept that there are just certain people who are different? Why must people who are different be termed weird? Unique is just a nice word to describe people who have stridden onto a different path.

I guess that conformity is a must. If everyone were to be different, the world would be chaotic. Imagine all those different ideas flying about; all the unhappiness hidden behind everyone’s facade. It’s good that people are alike in a way. It’s good that society has set aside a set of rules for everyone else to follow. I guess with order, comes a price. With freedom, comes another price. Oh man, why does the world have to be such a complicated place to live in?

I have a feeling that the happiest day of my life would be when my cardiac muscles cease to function. I am so sick of this stupid stupid place. Argh.

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Badminton trainings have become more and more redundant. I have no idea what am I doing there. Basically, I am just there to keep score. Freaking useless, that’s what I am. I feel like a burden. It is like, “xXXx, play with Clara.” What the heck? People feel compelled to play a game with me, and to make matters worse, I am just there to pick up shuttlecocks. Haiz.

Now that school has started, my brother will no longer be free. So, there goes my other partner for play. As such, I have placed all my time in hall, hoping that my vacation this time round would be different. On the contrary, I guess it is just me. I have to do something about it, but I am just so afraid to step into unchartered territory. I am so afraid to do things alone! Yet, when I am with other people, I’m so afraid of being looked down upon.

Conclusion: Uselesss!!! [Okay, I must work on this!]

Swimming hasn’t been that great either. Ms. MM has not turned up for any training, and I am starting to wonder if I really should be putting so much effort for something with which everyone has no faith in? I guess surpassing my personal goal should be sufficient, but the lack of confidence in everyone is really disheartening. Haiz. I no longer have any idea what I am doing.

I am more lost than ever.

God help me!

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“Sometimes it seems like God is difficult to find and impossibly far away. We get so caught up in our small daily duties and irritations that they become the only things that we can focus on. What we forget is that God's love and beauty are all around us, every day, if only we would take the time to look up and see them.”

-Matthias-