Importance.

I realised that everyone would want to feel important in some way or another. Or at least, useful. No one would want to feel worthlesss or useless.

Everyone loves the feeling of being important, of being wanted, of being useful.

Just how will someone be able to feel that way?

So you say, if that person makes you feel important, that person might just be the right one?

But, you have also forgotten that something once important may be deemed redundant once obtained. Isn't that human nature?

When something isn't obtainable, it's like the most imporant thing. You try means and ways to get it. Everything. You just know that you have to have it! It's important, you tell yourself! IMPORTANT!

Yet, once obtained, it's no longer important. Why would it be? You no longer have to fight for it. IT's already yours isn't it?

Then again, there are some things that may not be important, but yet useful at some point. In economic terms, it is a luxury good. In this case, it does not matter if you own it, but if you do, kudos to you! Still, if it were to disappear one day, perhaps you'll be sad. After all, you have gotten used to its presence, but after some time, I guess you will just forget about it.

I never forget though.

Am I a luxury good?

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My dad was rattling on and on about my friend again. I got so irritated that I turned to him, looked him straight in the eye and told him, "Daddy, if you don't stop talking, I will stop talking to you."

My dad obviously found it amusing and laughed. At the sight of him laughing, I can't help but laugh as well. I think he finds me amusing, especially the way I defend.

I can't help but admire the patience in my dad. No matter how moody I am, it matters not if he knows why I'm sad or upset. He just knows how to make me smile again. And if he knows I'm upset because of him, whether it's my fault or not, he'll pacify me, no matter what - even if I was clearly in the wrong; even when it is obvious that I was at fault.

I guess I'm just a spoiled girl - one who needs to be pampered; to be pacified.

>.<

I'm basking in the love of my parents that I know I do not deserve, but didn't pastor once said, don't deem yourself undeserving? It's not up to us to decide.

I guess the upbringing of someone really determines the outcome. My hands were held for as long as I can remember, and they are still being held. Maybe that's why I'm so weak, for I always know that there's someone to depend on.

But, I do know that it'll not be held forever.

And, I'm so so scared.

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If someone says nothing, how will one know how that someone is feeling or thinking?
What actually goes on in someone's mind when someone is silent?

I'm curious 'cause I'm troubled and lost.
I do not know what to do.

How do you know if someone is irritated or angry with you?
What do you do if someone is irritated or angry with you nearly all the time?
How do you prevent irritancy from developing in people?

It's so hard to earn that smile.