"What really goes on,
behind that void?
What really goes on,
when all is silent?"

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Deserve.

According to dictionary.com: To be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense.

To be worthy of? To be qualified for?
What rights do we have to say who deserves what?

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Life is so mundane now.
Am looking forward to nothing.
There's nothing to look forward to anyway.

Life is so stagnant now.
Everyday is but the same.
There's no reason for it not to anyway.

Life is so lifeless now.
Doing things like a mechanical robot.
There's no other way to survive pharmacy anyway.

Life is stifling now.
Really wanna try out stuffs.
There's hardly time nor opportunity anyway.

Life is meaningless now.
Going about every day without any goals.
There's little courage left in me to set any anyway.

Yeah, yeah.
I should stop complaining, and work out a solution instead right?

Just let me complain.
Everyone needs to complain once in a while.

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Phoenix fest is round the corner, but I hardly feel anything. At least, not like how I felt last year.

V-day celebrations were the same too, but I guess any nervousness would be unwarranted. After all, looking at the initial crowd that day, there were.. how many? Oh, barely 15 people seated among the audience.

Swimming was the same, I guess. It was such a far cry from the very same event held one year ago. There were... let's see. I think there were 6 supporters.

So, next comes Phoenix.
Another disappointment?

Yep! I know. Self-satisfaction comes first right? Why should people be there?

I guess it's just me.
I need constant re-assurance.
Dang. I hate myself.

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I guess the day became significant because nothing happened.

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"Trying so hard to not expect, to not demand, but that would mean to turn numb, and not feel anything."