"I'm going insane.
Laughing
And
Crying
All
AT THE SAME TIME.."

---------------

It is never be about me, I, or myself.
It should never be about me, I, or myself.
It should be, you, him, her, they, them.
NEVER me, I, or myself.

Girl, since you've always been the one there,
encouraging others,
motivating others,
smiling for others,
talking to others
don't expect the same.

Girl, wake up!
There will not be a person who will do all those to you
NOT!! NOT NOT NOT
Get it? WAKE UP
STop living in your own little dreamland,
STOP HOPING
STOP DREAMING
STOP CHERISHING your litle childish hope,
that someone
will always
be there
to enourage you
to pacify you
to motivate you
to stimulate you

FAT HOPE
Girl, YOU are the one that does all those
YOU are the one that pacify others, not the other way round.
YOU are the one that motivate others, not the other way round.
YOU are the one that try to make others smile, not the other way round.

GET IT? NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND!
STUPID GIRL
SILLY GIRL

NOw, stop crying, and face the truth.
STOP DREAMING!!
WAKE UP
WAKE UP!!

-slap slap-

----------------

Work has been tiring, and overwhelming.
The amount of drug I encounter each day is like, oh my goodness!

Nonetheless, at the end of the day, I'll have to be there,
to pacify,
to cheer,
to encourage,
to console
to try and attempt to rid that sian-ness of..
to try and earn that smile of..
to do something..
I seem to be failing to achieve.

To avoid being sian-ed myself
To disallow my tiredness from spreading
To maintain that smiling composure

To constantly make someone happy,
even if I myself am upset
To constantly keep my patience in check.

To always be on my toes,
to see
if the mood is black.
If it is,
to keep my mouth shut
and not let anything affect me
when I know that it is not possible
because
EVERYTHING affects me

Lousy Clara
affected by everything
Even when constantly self-reprimanded
and self-warned
not to care

But yet,
she always care
regardless

At the end of the day,
what does she get?

Just praying
for
an
ending.

---------------

"It was never you, or yourself.
It was always him, him, and him,
isn't it?"