March 21st was the day I gave up

"You never read. You claim you do, but I know you never. Ever. Read.
It's just reading a stupid post. As compared to your comics, how much time will it take?

I know now.
I hurt so much because I really really REALLY wanted this relationship to work out.
But, to see a lack of effort from you? It hurts, because I always thought a relationship is build by 2. Not one. Apparently not so for this case.
The fact that you never read this? Simply shows how unimportant our relationship is in your eyes as compared to everything else.

Sure. You keep me company just by being in the room.
Sure. You tutor me in a module I know nuts about.
Sure. You give me kisses and hugs ONLY WHEN I ASK YOU TO.

But the most important thing. The very most important thing. You can't give it me.
You can't give me support. Neither physically nor emotionally.
In fact, I dare say I've fallen more times after I entered into a relationship with you. Because before, I did not have to worry about a BOY.

You know, I feel stupid. Like darn stupid.
I should have known since december, 2008 - when you let me wonder around school at 3 am in the morning, without so much as to even attempt to look for me. I should have known, you know? But I simply thought, it can be changed. I believed. I hoped.

Seeing couples around me, I feel super jealous. Why can't I have those as well? I'm a girl too. Why must I be treated differently? Why am I not pampered, coaxed, or pacified? Why is it that when I'm whiny, I have no one to whine to? Why is it that when I need assurance, it doesn't come from the person I want it most?

You say, I can't always get what I want. True. But neither do I have to settle for less, right? And I won't. True, you claim you're trying to teach me things in life. But all I can say is, I'm sorry, I do not accept. Sure, I learn, I do agree one do not get everything in life, but that doesn't mean one has to be all negative about everything. What you're teaching me on the other hand, is that one shouldn't expect. One shouldn't hope. Which is as good as abandoning all drive in me.

I do not see how not pampering me, not coaxing me or not pacifying me, have to do with me not getting everything I want in life. It simply tells me that I've made a very very bad choice.

Everytime I'm upset, it's always about the same óle thing. And when I tell you about it, you simply laugh it off. It's not important.

I'm way too tired. Everytime I'm upset, it hurts more than the last.
I loved you, you know?
I really did.
But now, whenever people ask about you, I can't help but say, he is like that what, or no la. as if he will do it.
You can't blame me for that. You made me think this way.
What's there to expect from you? NOTHING.

And you can't blame me for being grouchy all the time.
You caused all this. Even before anything happens, I know. I simply know that you won't do it. It's a sad thought, but I can't help it. It's a routine disappointment.

I loved you.
I really did.

I'm sorry, but I can't love you the way I did before anymore."

Did you even do anything then?
Yes, you did.
For awhile.
Will whatever you do now,
last
for
a while?