"Why?!
Why does it happen again, and again, and AGAIN!

Is it so difficult? To just take your phone, and send me some random sms?!
Is it so difficult to just say, Darling, Jiayou.
Is it so difficult to just text, Darling, don't fall asleep hor..
Is it so difficult?!!

Why is it that you have time, you have the conscience of thinking about YOUR STUPID MOUSEHUNT, but not have the time, not have the mind to actually think of me?

Is love really one sided?
Why?!

Why is it such a huge demand?! IT's just a FREAKING sms!!! Then again, why do I treasure your sms-es like gold.. WHY?!?!

I'm a stupid girl. Like a STUPID STUPID STUPID girl..
Acting stupid.
Being stupid.
Feeling darn stupid right now.

Feeling foolish, for doing so much.
Feeling foolish, for always giving so much.
Feeling foolish, for ever thinking that you will learn how to love someone.

Do you know there is a different between loving someone from your heart, and loving someone through your actions?

A parent claims he loves his child, but yet doesn't feed his child, doesn't bring his child to a doctor.. Is that love?! Why subject your child to such misery if you love your child? But yet... he still says.. I love him. I do. I really did.

Love is not merely a feeling. I know that from the beginning, but do you? I thought you were mature enough to know that. It takes 2 hands to clap. I try. Like so so much. Despite feeling angry, disappointed, sad, I still reached out and text you like a stupid idiot. Seriously, am I just being stupid?

The moment you said that girlfriends are the first thing guys dump in times of stress, I knew you did not love me as much as I love you. The very fact that you could say it out loud shows me very clearly that you subscribe to it. It just made me even more insecure. Isn't it clear? Isn't it obvious? You just announced that I was dispensable. That, no matter what, I'm your LAST priority. Like, Last. Right at the bottom. Anything that goes wrong - Boom. I'm the first to go.

Do you know how hurting that is? Do you know how it stabs? It hurts you know. Why do you always do this to me? Why do you always leave me hurting so badly? Hurting so badly that I fervently wishes for an angel to just kiss me on the forehead, and bring me away from here.

I scream to God, but no one replies.. You mock my sadness. It doesn't bother you. Whatever I post in my blog, it's a huge joke to you. When I'm lost, you laugh, claiming that I'm lost all the time. Can't you help me find my way?! Can't you, damn it!!!!

Have you any idea how it feels to be lost. Helpless. Not knowing what's to happen. Feeling insecure. Disappointed. Saddened. Mixed with anguish, hurting so much that you just want real pain.

I cannot understand how you think. Why is it that when I cry, you just have to ignore me if I do not tell you why? Are you so selfish that I have to satisfy your desire to know so much that you don't care that I'm already hurting so. Do you always prioritize yourself so much that it doesn't bother you that I'm already crying; that I already am super sad? Doesn't it hurt, to see me crying?

Why do I hurt so much to see you angry; to see you sad; to see you tired; to see you disappointed? Why?! Why are my feelings so linked with yours, but yours simply not linked to mine?

I want this hurt to stop. It renders me so weak.. It saps all motivation away.
Why can't it stop?
Why can't I learn?
DAmnit.
Why can't I learn?
Why..

I want someone to take it all away."

Do I really want that again? Do I?