Sunday, January 23, 2011

"Do we ever live for ourselves?"

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Clara is..
a girl who smiles all the time, and so she smiles.
a girl who is nice all the time, and so she is.
a girl who is to be docile, and so she tries.
a girl who is happy all the time, and so she acts.

Clara is..
a girl who shouldn't get irritated, and so she swallows.
a girl who does not get angry, and so she can't.

Clara is..
just a girl everyone wants her to be.

The harddest act is to feign happiness when you're just slowly dying inside..

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"Exhausted"

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Friday, January 21, 2011

"All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time."

-Julie Andrews-

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I think any consious girl will know not to date a guy who is already attached.
Aparrently, she is either super inconsiderate, or just a scheming !#$!%@#$.

I sincerely hope her boyfriend in furture goes on a one-on-one date with another girl PLUS that girl's parent as well! I'll see then how she feels. What goes around MUST come around.

I'm sorry, but I have a right to hate her, and I don't see how she has any right to hate me, unless she likes him as well. And, all I can say is, HE is either extremely densed not to sense it, or just feigning ignorance, which then equates to the question of whether I should continue investing so much into such a high risk venture with no long term returns?

And, if assuming he is bright enough to be consious of it, has he actually gone up to her and told her that it is impossible between them STRAIGHT IN THE FACE? Or, is he secretly harbouring this hope that if all things fail, she will be his plan B?

I'm tired.
I don't really wanna speculate anymore.
Que sera sera.

Guess all I can do is give the best to my ability and capability,
and if all else fails, it just boils down to the fact that
I'm probably just,
not good enough.

I hate my life sometimes.

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"I hate liars. The one thing I hate most on earth. LIARS."

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Monday, January 03, 2011

"All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson-

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Life is all about taking risks, and I dare say I've taken more than I can handle.
Then again, I'm happy with the risks I have taken.
Some garnered rather positive outsomes, while some, a little depressing.
In all though, I'm satisfied and happy with my life thus far.

If only.. there are fewer expectations of me, and then, and maybe then, will I be able to fully enjoy and live life the way I want it to be.

Still, it might just be possible that these expectations are the ones that shape my goals and ambitions. As such, it's not such a bad thing after all, isn't it?

Writing cover letters and resume, and filling in application forms is such a pain, but I think the interviews will be as nerve racking as ever!! >.<

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I had the best holiday ever!!
Flew a 24 hours flight to and fro Spain, and experienced the single digit temperature over there along with Jamon!!!
Spent every moment possible with Baby!! - Something which is not possible in time to come!! =( And enjoyed every moment of it!!! <3
Had my fair share of swimming trainings in a half-hearted attempt to keep fit, which is apparently failing miserably.
Meet-ups with friends - Secondary school friends, hall friends and Pharmacy friends!
Had the best New Year BBQ ever - co-organised with BABY!! Thanks so much!

Yes! The BEST holiday thus far. =)

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Year 2011 is here and so... should I make New Year Resolutions again??
Hmmm.. the same few personality trait of mine that I would really want to change:

1. Less selfish; More selfless
2. More patience! Tolerance!!
3. More personal.
4. Less blur; More wits!!

Other than that, tangible aspects of life to work on:

1. Diploma in Piano maybe?
2. SURVIVE PRE-REGISTRATION!
3. SAVE my first $5000??
4. Maintain friendships
5. Have fun
6. Attain fullfillment and happiness
7. Building on the relationship with baby!! (Many many plans in mind... Hehe!)
8. GRADUATION TRIP!!

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"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

-Robert Frost-

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