I really Really REALLY HATE MYSELF!!
To the DEEPEST CORE!!

History always repeats.

She would be rendered sad and lost,
while He, non-chalent and cold.

Why is it so?

Sad. Sad. Sad.

This is Mario and Carebear!!


This is Darlie!!


Darlie again!! Darlie is a cam-hore! xD

She was next to him.
He was next to her.
She was crying there and then.
He was nonchalent there and then.

It was then that she knew,
he no longer cared.
It was then that she knew,
she was no longer special.

"Let us not love with words or tongue, but rather with actions and truth."

---------------

I just realised that it was Friday the 13th.

Funny, amidst everything, I failed to realise that.

Anyway, even if I had pointed that fact out, it would most probably be accompanied by a "so?"

And I would just stare blankly back.

Perhaps it was a good thing that I didn't say anything..

---------------

I've been thinking..

This happened a lot the past few days.
"What do you want now?"
I'll just stare.

Maybe now,
after today,
I do not want anything anymore.

We'll just have to be independent.

"What really goes on,
behind that void?
What really goes on,
when all is silent?"

--------------

Deserve.

According to dictionary.com: To be worthy of, qualified for, or have a claim to reward, punishment, recompense.

To be worthy of? To be qualified for?
What rights do we have to say who deserves what?

-------------

Life is so mundane now.
Am looking forward to nothing.
There's nothing to look forward to anyway.

Life is so stagnant now.
Everyday is but the same.
There's no reason for it not to anyway.

Life is so lifeless now.
Doing things like a mechanical robot.
There's no other way to survive pharmacy anyway.

Life is stifling now.
Really wanna try out stuffs.
There's hardly time nor opportunity anyway.

Life is meaningless now.
Going about every day without any goals.
There's little courage left in me to set any anyway.

Yeah, yeah.
I should stop complaining, and work out a solution instead right?

Just let me complain.
Everyone needs to complain once in a while.

------------

Phoenix fest is round the corner, but I hardly feel anything. At least, not like how I felt last year.

V-day celebrations were the same too, but I guess any nervousness would be unwarranted. After all, looking at the initial crowd that day, there were.. how many? Oh, barely 15 people seated among the audience.

Swimming was the same, I guess. It was such a far cry from the very same event held one year ago. There were... let's see. I think there were 6 supporters.

So, next comes Phoenix.
Another disappointment?

Yep! I know. Self-satisfaction comes first right? Why should people be there?

I guess it's just me.
I need constant re-assurance.
Dang. I hate myself.

--------------

I guess the day became significant because nothing happened.

--------------

"Trying so hard to not expect, to not demand, but that would mean to turn numb, and not feel anything."

Swimming IHG 2009 is over!!

Presenting.. the RH Swim Team!!



Heartfelt thanks to Jonathan and Coach Spencer for constantly coaching us, and not giving up on us!!

Thanks thanks!

Thanks to all who were on the swim team!! You guys did great!!

HELLO?! DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
We AREN't LAST!!

Hahaha!!

--------------

Finally, had my first "official" cme performance in hall yesterday.

MAde a few mistakes, which somehow made people laugh.. =.=

Haha!

Nonetheless, every performance is an experience itself. ^.^

Thanks Alex, JH, Gail and John!! =)
It was real fun jamming with you guys!

-------------

Is everything really worth it?

I no longer know.

Stop polluting my mind with negative thoughts.
Stop with your, I told you so.

I'm happy doing the things I do now, stop persuading me otherwise.

Still,
Somehow,
I wonder,
Is everything really worth it?

"Frightened girl, they don't know her name.
Saddened girl, who cries at night.
Distant girl, who's out of sight.
Fairytale girl, who doesn't exist.
Faking girl, with plastic smiles.
Happy girl, she is no more."

--------------

I hate oestrogen.
I HATE HATE HATE OESTROGEN!!

Why can’t I have the right to be angry?
Why am I always wrong?

I hate oestrogen.

I admit. I’m neither smart nor intelligent; neither nice nor kind; neither sociable nor friendly; neither thoughtful nor understanding.

Just trying, to be someone I’m not.

Why?

But then again, if I don’t try, everyone will hate me.

I hate oestrogen.
I really do.

Guys are lucky that the percentage of oestrogen flowing through them is the ultimate low.
I wish I had that kind of luck.

Angry again. Forever angry.

I loathe oestrogen.

Confused again. Forever confused.

I simply detest oestrogen.

Throwing a stupid tantrum again. Always, as someone says.

Did I mention how I dislike oestrogen?

Need to stop those tears from flowing and concentrate on other stuffs.
Microbiology perhaps? Bacillus Subtilis is a cute bacterial!! I’m serious!!
E. Coli dances! Super cute!

I hate oestrogen.

I’m terrified for tomorrow.
Yet, what will be, will be.
Still, I’m terrified.

But, so what?
So what if I’m afraid.
So what?

I really really hate oestrogen.

I’m scared.

------------

When a guy looks at a girl in silence, he wonders, "Why are you such a handful?"
When a girl looks at a guy in silence, she wonders, "Do you love me the way I do?"

Date: 7th February 2009
Venue: SRC Swimming Complex
Time: 10:00 am

Wonder what will happen..
Last again?

Maybe not..